The Brawling Times
by NinjaFalcon90
Summary: Toon Link, Ness, and Lucas decide to work for the Smash Mansion newspaper, so they can earn enough money to buy a Wii U. They manged to make a successful gossip column, which later offends and humiliates some of the brawlers and their friends. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1: The Wii U

On a typical summer day, three certain boys were walking down the streets of Tokyo to the local game store. One of them was boldly walking in front of his blond-haired friends. He wore a striped t-shirt and a red baseball hat. The little blond boy who wore a similar outfit warily looked up at passing strangers, who paid no attention to him. The bright yellow-haired Hylian was happily humming a small tune.

"Ness, I heard that a new game console came out today!" The Hylian said to the boy with the red cap. A car suddenly whooshed pass them like Sonic, making him hold onto his floppy lime-green cap.

"I know, that's why we're heading to the game shop, Toon!" Ness replied. The three approached a crosswalk. Seeing no speeding vehicles, Ness was about to carelessly dash down the street when the blond-haired boy suddenly grabbed his hand, immediately stopping him. "What is it, Lucas?" Ness grumpily asked.

"I think we should stop and wait for that light to turn red." Lucas shyly explained. "I don't want a car to hit us." Ness was about to say something in protest when a yellow car with black stripes dashed right by them like a beam of light. "See?" Lucas timidly said as the traffic light turned red, telling all cars heading down the street to stop. Ness rolled his blue eyes in annoyance and followed his friends down the crosswalk to the game shop.

The game shop was crowded like the cafeteria back at the Smash Mansion. Teenagers were standing in front of aisles, either looking at used games or reading Nintendo Power. Some were loitering around the corner with nothing to do, talking loudly to each other like a crowd of Chatots. Game cartages were stacked on shelves like books. Behind the cashier counter were boxes containing consoles, such as the Wii and Gamecube.

"Look, there's the Wii U!" Toon exclaimed over the chattering teens. He pointed to a group of children near their age flocking around the brand-new white console.

Trying to get as close to the TV screen, the three watched a little boy play with the Wii U. He was playing a remake of Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker. Ness, Lucas, and (Especially!) Toon were greatly amazed at the graphics, not the game play. Although Wind Waker had cartoonish graphics, it nearly looked realistic! A few kids were grouchily grumbling to each other. The little boy had been playing with the Wii U for a whole hour! C'mon, when is he going to stop?

"Hey, when are you gonna let us play?!" a boy while glasses asked impatiently, tipping his sneakers on the flat ground. "You said that you're gonna stop thirty minutes ago!"

"Fine, fine." The little boy sighed. As soon as he put down the 3DS-like controller and walked back to his parents, all of the children instantly rushed to grab the controller. They violently shoved each other and pulled the flat, white pad out of their hands. Toon, Ness, and Lucas quickly backed away. They don't want to be caught up in that blood storm! Those guys are just as violent as Daein soldiers!

"So… What do you guys think?" Ness awkwardly asked, watching the shop supervisors hurrying to break up the childish fight. "I think the Wii U is awesome!"

"I agree!" Lucas piped up with a soft smile.

"I wonder how much does it cost." Toon spoke up. "Let me ask someone."

Toon headed towards the counter and looked at the cashier with his cat-like eyes."Hey, Toon!" The cashier cheerfully greeted. "What do you think of your game's remake?"

"Ness, Lucas, and I really like it!" Toon answered sunnily. "How much does the Wii U cost?"

"It costs $350." The cashier saw the shocked Hylian jump slightly. "I know, it is very expensive."

"Well…" Toon said restlessly. "T-Thank you!"

After leaving the game shop, the three began to talk about the Wii U's price. "Do you guys really want it?" Toon asked.

"Yeah!" Ness answered enthusiastically. "Its games and graphics are awesome!"

Lucas nodded in agreement. "But, how can we pay for it? We can't just ask everyone for money! That isn't right!"

"Maybe we can do some chores!" Toon suggested. "That's it! When we get back at the Smash Mansion, we can do the other brawlers' chores!"

"Wouldn't that make them take advantage of us?" Lucas asked carefully.

"I don't think so!" Ness spoke up. "Everyone has lots of things to do! They are either too busy or lack the motive!"

"If you say so…" Lucas replied, a bit unsure. "Do you think they are actually going to pay us?"

"Yeah!" Toon exclaimed confidently.

Although Toon was sure they will earn enough money for the Wii U in no time, he was wrong. He often had a hard time distinguishing the clear glass-made imagination from the stone-hard ground of reality.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Folks, you had waiting for this fanfic! Here's the first chapter of the newspaper fanfic! This fanfic is going to be less descriptive and shorter, because it is mainly focused on the characters.**

**Although this chapter is kinda boring, once when we get to the newspaper parts, this story will be very humorous. Just to warn you, I sometimes fail at being funny. (I have one of the most immature sense of humor in the whole world!) **

**Instead of just writing about all of the SSBB characters, I'm planning to add other Nintendo characters. So far, I've gotten a request that Chrom and his shepherds should be in the story. (They're in the story!) Time (OoT Link), Eliwood, Lilina, Wolt, Elincia, Elice, Palutena, and (maybe) the Greil Mercenaries are also going to be story. **

**Story Question:**

**Which non-SSBB Nintendo character would you like to see in this story? **

****I don't own SSBB**


	2. Chapter 2: Lending a Helping Hand

Once when the three returned to the Smash Mansion, they immediately split up and ventured around the mansion for any errands to do. Ness, who loved to spend time outdoors, was in the backyard. The sun was happily beaming in the cloudless blue sky. The heat was mild, not boiling hot like Death Mountain. The freshly-cut lawn was just watered by the sprinklers. Ness adjusted his hat, shook his head sadly, and continued to look. He loved to use the lawn mower; it made him feel powerful.

Just when Ness was about to look somewhere else, he heard a certain redhead mischievously exclaim, "Ahaha! This is going to be the best prank ever!" Ness slightly jumped at the naughty voice and smiled in hilarity. Wondering what were Roy and Pit up to, he hurried towards the source of the voice. He saw the two teens impatiently pouring glue into two large buckets.

"Hey Pit and Roy, what are you guys up to?" Ness asked, heading towards them. "Is it another prank?"

Roy looked up and wiped his sweaty brow with the palm of his hand. "Yeah!" he answered cheerfully.

Ever since Roy was allowed in the Brawl Tournament, he and Pit had been pulling pranks on the other brawlers, either for revenge or for their spiteful amusement. Most of their pranks were harmless yet humiliating, such as pulling a pail of freezing water on top of a door.

"Who are the unlucky victims?" Ness questioned, a bit interested.

"Fox and Falco." Roy replied.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Pit suddenly asked carefully. "Other brawlers can trigger our prank."

"Don't worry! We'll be hiding somewhere and make sure no other than Fox and Falco one activates it!"

"Do you need help? I can help if you promise to pay me." Ness bided.

Roy's navy-blue eyes twinkled with joy. "Yeah! We'll pay you five dollars!" Ness smiled, pleased that he is being paid for doing a task. Roy and Pit shoved two glue bottles into the twelve-year-old's hands. "C'mon, what are you waiting for?!" Roy exclaimed excitedly. "Let's get working!"

After pouring glue into buckets for about twenty minutes, the pails were completely filled with sticky glue. Dumping the empty bottles onto the grassy ground Ness said, "Is there anything else I can do?"

"No!" Roy answered, a bit overjoyed. "This is perfect!" Ness was about to ask for his payment when the redhead rudely cut him off. He picked up a bucket of glue. "C'mon Pit, let's go! Let's set up our prank!"

"Alright!" Pit responded with a beaming smile. He took the other pail and hurried away with his best friend.

"Wait!" Ness exclaimed, but it was too late. In a few seconds, the two pranksters were gone in a flash. He sighed unhappily. When the two get _too _excited, they often forget promises.

* * *

At that moment, Lucas was in the front hallway, trying to ask the brawlers if they needed help on their chores. However, whenever he approached a brawler, he would awkwardly shy away; he didn't want "no" for an answer. After ten minutes, he was about to leave when the front door suddenly slammed open. Marth, who was carrying six bags of groceries and his "purse", clumsily walked in, like if he was limping. He clutched three heavy paper bags in each hand. His "purse" was about to slip off his shoulder.

"Marth, let me help." Lucas said. The blond went towards the prince and took one bag from each hand.

"Ah, arigatou." Marth thanked with a gentle smile.

"Where are you taking them?" Lucas asked.

"I'm taking them to the kitchen." Marth answered. "Are you going to bring them in?"

"Sure."

Marth and Lucas carried the groceries into the kitchen. Compared to the crowded cafeteria, it was deserted. The two began to unpack the bags and put its contents in the refrigerator. After five minutes, they were finished with their job.

"Hey, Marth." Lucas shyly spoke up. Marth turned to the timid blond with a "Hmmm?". "Well... You see... I..."

Marth got what Lucas was trying to say. "Oh, wait..." he quickly said as he rummaged through his purse.

With a small grin, he took out a large chocolate bar and gave it to Luca, who took it and nervously eyed the sweet treat. Well... He was expecting to get paid with money, not with a candy bar! Should he tell Marth that he wants to be paid with actual cash? Lucas uneasily looked up at Marth and saw the gratitude in his thankful eyes.

"Well… Thank you, Marth!" Lucas quickly thanked before racing away.

* * *

Meanwhile, Toon was looking for his "older brother", Link, knowing that he had something for him to do. He found him sitting in the cafeteria with their cousin "Time", the Link known as the Hero of Time. Although the three Hylians shared traits such as blond hair, there were a few differences. Toon had blue-green cat-like eyes, fluffy yellow hair, and was the shortest of the three. Link had straw-colored hair that was parted to the left and azure eyes. Time had golden hair parted in the middle, a pointy nose, cobalt-blue eyes, and was the tallest of the three.

"Hey, Toon!" Link called to the little Hylian as he scurried towards their table like a mouse. Newspapers were piled messily on their table.

"Hi, Link and Time!" Toon greeted the two Hylians. Time smiled and his pointy ears slowly perked up. "Link, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"Do you have any tasks for me to do?"

"No, Time and I already took care of them."

"You usually don't like doing chores." Time spoke up. "What's going on?"

Toon quickly explained to Link and Time about his motivates to do chores. "We really want the Wii U!"

Time's thinking blue eyes wandered onto the newspaper. "Hey!" He pointed to an advertisement on it.

With a bored gleam in his eyes, Toon took a quick look at the article and said, "It's an advertisement. Ok…" He was never interested in reading.

Time held up the newspaper so Toon could read it clearly. "It's an advertisement for the Smash Mansion Newspaper. King Dedede, the main editor of the paper, is hiring some volunteering journalists! I think you, Ness, and Lucas will make great journalists!"

"Are you sure?" Toon asked carefully. "I don't think I'm good at writing."

"Give it a try!" Link encouraged with a cheering smile.

Toon looked at Link and Time's positive smile. "Ok… I'll give it a try."

"That's the spirit!" Time exclaimed loudly, causing some of the brawlers to look up with an awkward look. He gave Toon a gentle pat on the head.

The three children gathered outside of the Smash Mansion to state their results.

"Any luck?" Ness asked. "I helped Pit and Roy, but they didn't pay me."

"Well…" Lucas quietly spoke. "I helped Marth bring in the groceries." He took his well-earned candy bar out of his pant pocket. "But he didn't pay back with money."

Ness sighed in frustration. "Did you get anything, Toon?"

"Link and my cousin suggested working for the Smash Mansion paper." Toon answered, holding up the newspaper article. "Dedede is looking for volunteers! What do you think? Is that a good idea?"

"Err, I'm not sure." Lucas replied uneasily. "I once saw Dedede boss his Waddle Dees around. He was so rude!"

"Nah, I think we can handle King Dedede for a few weeks." Ness replied confidently. "I'm up for it!"

"Alright…" Lucas said, forcing a small smile. "If you guys think it'll work, I'll help too.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Shocked by the fast update? Haha, I've working on this fanfic when ****Lone Flame ****was almost finished! I only got chapter 3 and 4 finished so far. As for the character requests, I'm trying to mention them in the story.  
**

**Also, I've started a poll. The question is: Which fanfic should I start after "The Brawling Times"? **

**The choices are: **

**The Black Knight, Ike's archenemy, is invited to the Smash Mansion and treats all of the brawlers badly. Ike is determined to put a stop to it.**

**Sick of Sonic bragging that he is the fastest, all of the brawlers compete in a marathon .**

**Tired of his boring abilities, Link attempts to become stronger by copying his friends' skills.**

**Roy is responsible for taking care of Eliwood, who mysteriously transformed into his three-year-old self.**

**Lucina visits the Smash Mansion. Feeling replaced, Marth runs away from home and tries to start a new life.**

**You're allowed to vote for 3 choices!**

**Story Question: **

**Had you ever done a favor for someone and s/he either did not pay you back or rewarded you with something you did not want? **

**In some fanfics, why do some people make some characters OOC? **

**(You don't need to answer this.) Let's pretend you finished a fanfic and you hadn't uploaded its chapters to this website. How often would you update the story?**


	3. Chapter 3: Just Boring

Ness, Lucas, and Toon entered the printing room, where King Dedede was haughtily ordering his employed Waddle Dees around. The sound of clicked typewriters pattered in the air. Waddle Dees wildly scurried around, trying to keep up with their work. Ness quietly chuckled to himself when he saw two hurrying Waddle Dees collide into each other in their hastiness.

"What are you kids doin' here?!" Dedede shouted at the three child brawlers.

"Um, well…" Lucas started softly.

"We would like to volunteer in the newspaper for a while." Ness said. A drop of sweat rolled down his forehead when Dedede leaned in his comfy chair as he came to a decision. Is he going to say no?

"I was expecting more professional, smarter people like Princess Zelda." Dedede remarked offensively. "But hey, I'm desperate for new journalists! Heh, you guys are in!"

"All right!" The three little brawlers high-fived each other. "Do we start now?"

Dedede suddenly opened a desk drawer, took out three notepads and pencils, and threw it at the boys' feet. "Right now! I want at least three interesting stories immediately!"

"W-W-Will do, King Dedede!" Toon nervously said.

The three boys picked up their necessary items and hurried out of the office.

"Let's split up." Ness said. "Each of us will find a separate story."

* * *

Toon heard that Link was partnered with Kirby in a double match against Fox and Falco. Thinking that the fierce match would make an interesting article, the little Hylian rushed to the battle stadium. Thousands of people crowded the stadium, excitedly cheering for their beloved, favorite brawlers.

There was a small area reserved only for brawlers and their close friends. Because there were so many people rushing to claim their wanted seats, Toon found it found it hard to get to the reticent balcony. He was about to give up and find something else to write about when he felt a tap on his tiny shoulder.

"Hey, Toon!" Time greeted with a smile. "Are you here to watch Link's double match?"

"Yeah!" Toon answered happily. "I'm going to write about it!"

Time lifted Toon up and carried him over his strong shoulders. "Let's go! The match is about to start!"

Time and Toon weren't the only Nintendo characters excitedly watching the match. There was Meta Knight, who was inquisitively watching his pink student battle alongside with the Hero of Twilight. Mario and Luigi were stuffing buttered popcorn in their faces. Sonic, who was defiantly faster than Fox and Falco, tried to taunt the Star Fox members by making funny faces. Yet, it was unsuccessful; the two focused all of their attention on their opponents. Chrom and his shepherds sat in a corner. Most of them were calmly watching the battle, however when one of the brawlers did an amazing trick, all of them would gasp "Ooh!" in amazement. However, one of them was a tad too overexcited.

"Omigosh-did-you-see-what-did-that-pink-thingy-jus t-did?! It just turned into rock! A ROCK!" Lissa enthusiastically screamed in Chrom's, Emmeryn's, and Lucina's ears. Her scream was twice as loud to Time and Toon, who had sensitive pointy ears.

"Hey, Time." Toon spoke up, pointing to Chrom's shepherds. Chrom was telling Lissa to calm down. Emmeryn was rubbing her sore ears and Lucina was dazed by her aunt's sudden screaming. "Who are these people? I've never seen them before."

"They are visitors from the newest Fire Emblem game." Time answered. "I think you should mention them in your article."

"Oh, yeah!" Toon quickly scribbled down some sentences.

"WAAH!" Lissa blurted out breathlessly, jolting the startled Lucina out of her seat. "The fox took some thingamajig and fired some flashy red stuff at the elf!"

"Elf?" Time huffed under his breath in disapproval. "We are called Hylians for Farore's sake!"

"Can you keep your mouth shut for at least a minute?" Frederick asked in irritation. "I'm trying to enjoy the match!"

"Alright, alright." Lissa said, trying to calm herself down. It wasn't even a second until she shrieked, "OHMIGOSH! The elf spun around and knocked the bird and fox off the stage!" This made Frederick slap himself in frustration.

Unlike Time, who simply ignored Lissa's annoying screaming, Toon sighed in frustration. Usually when he watches a match, time goes by as fast as a beam of light. This match however, had a bothersome hyperactive Fire Emblem character screaming at the top of her lungs. Toon quickly covered his throbbing ears when Lissa screeched again, much to the audience's bother. This was going to be a long match.

* * *

Lucas was standing in the middle of the main hallway, trying to build up the courage to interview a random passing brawler. Let's see… Lucas cautiously eyed Bowser who stomped grumpily towards the cafeteria. No, too big and nasty! Mr. Game and Watch beeped a "hello" at Lucas as he walked by. No… It's really hard to understand what the 2D character is saying. Loud hurrying footsteps caught the blond's attention.

"Ike, can I ask you something?" Lucas asked when he saw Ike panicky dash down the hallway like if he was getting chased by something.

"Sorry-I-can't!" Ike quickly answered. "Not-now!"

Lucas was about to ask Ike why was he in a hurry, when a large mob of livid cuccos hurriedly scurried by, clucking angrily at the fleeing mercenary. With an uncharacteristic smug smile, Lucas was about to scrawl down a hilarious report on his notepad when he suddenly stopped. No, writing an embarrassing report about a brawler's misfortune isn't right! It may be amusing to the readers, but it will destroy Ike's reputation! With a small sigh, Lucas shook his head and looked for other brawlers.

"Excuse me, had you seen Ike?" a certain green-haired princess asked when she spotted Lucas. Lucas's cheeks turned pink; it was Princess Elincia.

"I did see him." Lucas pointed down the hallway. "I think he ran outside." With a small nod of thanks, Princess Elincia was about to continue her way when Lucas quickly stopped her. "Wait, can I ask you some questions? It's for a report I'm writing."

"You may." Princess Elincia answered with a soft smile.

* * *

Ness was walking around the backyard, looking for something to write about. It was a boring uneventful day. The Ice Climbers were playing hide-and-seek with Olimar and his Pikmin. Samus was sitting on the patio drinking tasteless pure water. Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong were guarding their precious banana tree. Marth was taking a catnap under a tree. His older sister Elice sat next to him, reading an interesting novel.

Unsure what to write about, Ness was about to head back inside when he heard a certain blonde princess garbed in a fancy pink dress call, "Does anyone want lemonade?"

That sentence instantly caused (almost!) everyone to look up from their activities. Sputtering on water, Samus rushed towards the lemonade stand, where Princess Peach was. The Ice Climbers began to run towards the stand, only to trip on their own feet and get trampled by stampeding Pikmin. Like if he was only pretending to be asleep, Marth's snapped out of his nap and quickly hurried towards the line. Diddy Kong, Donkey Kong, and Elice were the only ones who didn't care about Princess Peach's lemonade. Elice was deeply engrossed in her fascinating chapter book. Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong only liked bananas.

Ness suddenly had a great idea. Princess Peach was not only well-known for her delicious foods, but also known for starting campaigns. With a smile, the twelve-year-old went to Princess Peach and asked, "Princess Peach, are you starting a fundraiser?"

"Yes." Princess Peach answered cheery. She poured a cup of lemonade for Samus, who paid ten Smash Coins. "It's for the local children's hospital."

"Do you need help on advertising?"

Princess Peach gave the Pikmin two cups of lemonade. Olimar paid for them. "Yes, I'll appreciate it!"

Ness scribbled down some sentences on his notepad. "How much does each cup cost?"

"Ten Smash Coins." Princess Peach answered as she poured two cups for Marth. Marth took a small sip and gagged. The lemonade is really sour! Faking a small thankful grin at Princess Peach, he hurried back to Elice.

"How long will you be selling lemonade?"

"For two weeks."

"I think this is enough information! Thanks, Princess Peach!"

"You're welcome!"

News hurried into the Smash Mansion to look for his friends. Well, he did manage to interview someone. But an article advertising lemonade? That doesn't sound very interesting. But who know? Dedede might approve it!

* * *

The three boys gathered in front of the printing room, each with their own story to tell.

"My article was an interview with Princess Elincia." Lucas said. "What's yours, Ness?"

"You interviewed Princess Elincia?" Ness asked in disbelief. "Lucky! Mine's was an advertisement for Princess Peach's lemonade! What about you, Toon?"

"I did a report on a double match." Toon answered. "You don't know what I had to sit through to write that report!"

The three entered the printing room, where Dedede was ordering his busy Waddle Dee minions. He saw Lucas, Ness, and Toon and impatiently said, "It's about time you guys came back! So far, all of those stories are boring!"

Trying to hide the scowl and frown behind their small smile, the three gave their reports to the anthropomorphic penguin. Usually, a good editor would thoroughly read through the article before deciding whether it is interesting. However, Dedede just read the title.

"Link and Kirby Vs. Fox and Falco!?" Dedede asked in disgust. "The duty of being the Princess of Crimea?! Princess Peach's Lemonade Fundraiser?!" He threw the three notepads at Toon, Lucas, and Ness. "These are boring reports! I want something juicy in thirty minutes or you three are fired! Now go!

"But, but-" Lucas stuttered nervously.

"No buts! Go!"

Dedede kicked Ness, Lucas, and Toon out of the printing room.

"I can't believe Dedede rejected our reports like that!" Ness growled in annoyance.

"I thought my article was good..." Lucas sniffed sadly.

"Guys, we can't stand here and do nothing!" Toon spoke up in a determined voice. "Let's go to the backyard and talk about it! We'll write an interesting report!"

The three boys high-fived each other and went to the backyard.

* * *

**Author's Note: But Dedede, I find Lucas's report really interesting /is trampled by Waddle Dees **

**Expect chapter 4 to be uploaded tomorrow. I didn't get started on chapter 5 yet, just to let everyone know. For some reason, I picture Lissa being the Pinkie Pie of Chrom's shepherds. **

**As for the poll, the "Marth running away from home fanfic", "Roy taking care of three-year-old Eliwood fanfic", "Link wanting to get stronger fanfic", and "Brawler Marathon" fanfic are tied. (No one chose the Black Knight and Ike fanfic for some reason, haha.) I would like to mention that both the Runaway Marth and Roy and Eliwood story will only be at least 5 chapters long. The Link story and Marathon story would be at least 10 chapters long. I feel like working on the Marathon story next but I'll let my readers decide. The poll has been reopened, however the Ike fanfic is removed and you can only vote for one choices. /dodges thrown pie. Don't worry, I'm still working on Hollow. It takes me a while to write a chapter that doesn't bomb the entire story. **

**Story Questions: **

**If you needed to interview a brawler, who would it be and why?**

**How do you feel when your ideas get rejected? **

**(SPOILER Question) In the next chapter, two characters will be mentioned in the newspaper's gossip column. Who do you think it is? **


	4. Chapter 4: A Sticky Situation

Toon, Ness, and Lucas were sitting at the patio, desperately trying to brainstorm a report. They must come up with something interesting in thirty minutes, or Dedede will fire them! But what should they write about?

"Why don't we interview Link?" Toon suggested. "He just had a match!"

"No, Dedede doesn't like interviews." Lucas answered.

"He also doesn't find advertisements and the news interesting!" Ness exclaimed, shaking his head sadly. "He doesn't find anything interesting! Ooh..."

"What do we do now?" Toon asked out loud.

* * *

Meanwhile, Pit and Roy were hiding in the bushes, next to their prank. They put two pails of sticky glue on top of a tree, where Fox and Falco were going to pass by. The pails were attached to a thin, invisible twine. If one were to accidentally trip over the twine, the buckets of blue would fall directly onto the target, covering him or her with coats of glue.

"Do you see Fox and Falco yet?" Roy whispered impatiently to Pit.

Pit poked his head out of the bushes like a gopher. "No, I don't."

The two teens mischievously snickered to each other and patiently waited for the Canidae and avian to appear. "Hey Roy," Pit started. "I see Lady Palutena, your dad, and your friends!"

Roy looked around through the bushes and saw Lilina and Wolt rushing ahead of Eliwood and Palutena, who were quietly talking to each other. He and Pit looked at each other. Oh no... Are they coming this way?!

"Do you see Roy?" Lilina asked Wolt.

"No, he's probably hiding somewhere with Pit." Wolt answered. The green-haired archer suddenly looked at Pit's and Roy's hiding spot and caught sight of the duo anxiously watching them. "There they are!" he exclaimed.

"Hey, Roy!" Lilina cried out.

Lilina and Wolt hurried towards Roy and Pit, unaware of the buckets of glue and twine. Roy and Pit bit their nails nervously as they mentally began to panic. If Lilina and Wolt activate the hidden prank, they are going to get scolded by their authorities!

"Yamete!" Roy shouted his native language loudly. He hastily dashed out of the bushes. A alarmed gleam shone in his eyes. "Don't move!"

"Stop!" Pit called, panicky following the redhead. White feathers clouded the air as he flapped his wings.

In the rush to stop Lilina and Wolt, Pit and Roy weren't looking where they were going. They accidentally tripped over the twine, fell flat on their face, and activated the prank. The metal pails tipped over and fell onto the angel and redhead with a clunk, covering them in glue from head to toe. Lilina and Wolt immediately halted in their path and gasped. The four teens awkwardly started at each other.

Suddenly, Lilina and Wolt began to laugh hysterically, pointing at the unlucky Pit and Roy. They collapsed and began to roll on the ground like marbles, unable to stop roaring with laughter.

"It's not funny, Lilina and Wolt!" Roy barked at the two giggling Fire Emblem characters. Glue dripped down his red hair. "Stop laughing!"

"Let's get out of here before your dad and Palutena see us!" Pit whispered, trying to shake the glue off his wings.

Roy and Pit tried to get up and hurry away, but their efforts were futile. They were literally glued to the sidewalk! Taking notice of this, Lilina and Wolt laughed hysterically like hyenas. Wondering what was the commotion, Eliwood and Palutena hurried to the scene. Once when they saw their son and server, the two quickly covered their mouths and chuckled.

"Dad, get us out of here!" Roy moaned desperately.

"Lady Palutena, help us!" Pit begged, struggling wildly. "GET IT OFF!"

Ness, Lucas, and Toon, who were about to give up on their article, heard Pit's and Roy's cries for help. Looking at each other with a sure smile, they hurriedly ran towards the humiliating scene. There, Pit and Roy were struggling crazily against the restricting glue, only to get more glue on their clothes, hair, and (In terms of Pit.) wings. Lilina and Wolt were still immaturely laughing. Eliwood and Palutena stopped giggling and uneasily watched the scene like a boring movie.

"Roy, Did your prank backfire?" Ness asked mockingly.

"Kinda!" Roy replied with an annoyed huff.

"Pit and Roy, we're looking for something to write about in the newspaper." Lucas softly said. Pit and Roy stopped struggling for a moment, their eyes wide. "Is it ok if we can write about your backfired prank?"

"Sure!" Roy and Pit answered at the same time. Lilina and Wolt stopped laughing and strangely looked at the redhead and angel. Personally if they were in their situation, they would've said no. Eliwood shook his head, not understanding his son's action. Palutena just smiled at Pit. Lucas began to write a report on his notepad.

"We need to take a picture of this!" Ness said.

Toon took off his floppy lime-green hat, reached into it, and pulled out a camera. "Got it!"

"Pit and Roy, are both of you good actors?" Ness asked.

"I can try my best." Pit answered with a small smile.

"Well…" Roy unsurely started. "I think I am."

"Try to act like you're struggling to get free." Ness requested.

"Alright." Pit and Roy answered simultaneously.

The two began to struggle frantically and scream like two drama kings. Their facial expressions were full of so much agony, it actually looked hilarious. Lilina and Wolt, who stopped giggling for a second, resumed their chortling laughter. Eliwood and Palutena chuckled and shook their heads.

"Oh my gosh, I think I'm going to wet my pants!" Wolt managed to cry out. "Roy, your face is so priceless!"

"Dedede will defiantly love this!" Toon smirked to himself as he snapped a picture of the distressed Pit and Roy.

* * *

Ike, who finally managed to outrun the mob of angry cuccos, was walking down the hallway with Princess Elincia. They were meeting the Greil Mercenaries at the cafeteria. Once when the two Crimeans arrived at their destination, they saw their valued allies reading the Smash Mansion newspaper, laughing uproariously. Shinion and Gatrie were sitting in a corner away from the other mercenaries, snickering as they read the humiliating article. Titania shook her head and calmly chuckled to herself. Boyd was chortling loudly while Oscar was unsure whether he should feel sorry for Roy and Pit. Rhys was laughing so hard, he didn't seem to be a physically frail man. Mist, Rolf, and Mia were sitting at the same table, childishly giggling to themselves at the frantic photo of Pit and Roy. Soren smiled for once.

"What's so funny?" Ike asked.

Mist gave Ike her newspaper. "Look at this!"

Ike hurriedly skimmed through the article. Princess Elincia asked, "What happened?"

"Roy and Pit decided to pull a prank on Fox and Falco." Ike explained, grinning as he tried to hold in his laughter. "However, it backfired on them!" Ike showed the picture of Roy and Pit covered in glue, helplessly struggling and screaming for help. With a sudden cry, he and Princess Elincia broke into uncontrollable laughter.

"Wow Pit and Roy, you guys are famous now!" Link said to the redhead and angel as he entered the cafeteria.

Roy's and Pit's hair were still damp from their bath. "I know!" Roy answered cheerfully. "Everyone was asking us to sign their newspaper!"

With a surprised gasp, Mist, Rolf, and Mia suddenly rose from their seats and hurried towards Pit and Roy. Link quickly backed away, not wanting to get trampled by the overexcited mercenaries.

"Can you please sign my newspaper?" Mist sweetly asked Pit and Roy.

"I want your autograph please!" Rolf piped up.

"You guys were so funny!" Mia exclaimed.

"Wait, hold on…" Pit said, reaching in his jean pocket for a pen.

* * *

"That article was great!" Dedede praised Toon, Lucas, and Ness in his office.

"Well… thanks." Lucas softly replied.

"We were lucky that Pit and Roy let us write about their incident." Ness said.

"I can't believe they let us!" Toon cheeped up.

"I want more reports like this!" Dedede said with a grin. "I would like a report like this tomorrow! Keep them coming!"

"It looks like gossip is the newspaper's main attention!" Ness said, facing his two friends.

"If we keep this up, we will soon get that Wii U!" Toon said with a smile.

"C'mon, let's start our next report!" Lucas cheerily said.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I'm surprised no one said Pit and Roy are going to be in the newspaper. xD**

**I didn't get started on chapter 5. Why? It's because I'm currently taking ideas! If you want to see a certain character (Whether he or she is in SSBB or not!) humiliated in the newspaper or an idea in the next chapter, send a review with your idea. Who knows, I may accept it!**

**From here on, we won't be hearing much about Toon, Ness, and Lucas. The chapters are mainly going to focused on our unlucky brawlers and their friends. The three may be mentioned. **

**The poll is still up, however I'm currently sitting on the fence, debating whether I should get started on the Link story, Runaway Marth story, or Marathon story. A Roy story was recently finished, so I kinda want to drop the Roy & Eliwood story. /gets hit with frying pan. **

**Story Questions:**

**If you were in Pit's and Roy's situation, would you let Toon, Ness, and Lucas write a report about your mishap? **

**Which character would you like to see next? Any humiliating ideas?**

**In every chapter, non-SSB characters will remark on the article. Who would you like to see? **


	5. Chapter 5: Don't be Afraid of the Dark

The next day, Mario and Luigi were in the kitchen, cooking spaghetti for dinner.

"Luigi, can-a you get some-a pasta from-a the basement?" Mario asked his younger brother.

"Why-a can't you get-a it yourself?" Luigi replied.

"Because I'm-a not going to-a go into that-a spooky basement!" Mario retorted.

"No, I'm,-a not going in there!" Luigi asked in annoyance.

While the two plumbers were arguing with each other, they did not notice Kirby sneak into the kitchen and toddle into the basement. The pink puffball wanted a snack. Knowing his apprentice's endless appetite, Meta Knight hurriedly followed him into the basement.

"Fine, fine. I'll get-a the pasta!" Luigi sighed in defeat.

"Thank-a you." Mario thanked with a smirk.

Luigi walked down the creaky wooden steps into the basement. His shaking fingers flipping on the lights, he nervously opened a squeaky cupboard at the furthest end of the room and unsteadily took a box of pasta. Alright, he got the pasta now… All he needs to do now is calmly walk up the stairs back to the kitchen before the boogieman suddenly appears out of nowhere…

All of a sudden, the lights flickered and turned off with a startling pop. Luigi's anxious eyes darted around the dark basement. Although he was the only one in the chilling cellar, he felt he was being watched by monsters hidden in the darkness. Unlike his older brother, who was brave and social to strangers, Luigi was a bit cowardly and shy.

Luigi jumped when he heard a loud thump coming from one of the cupboards. What was that?! Is it a monster?! With a whimper, Luigi was about to hurry up the stairs, back into the kitchen when he froze. No, he won't run away! He does not want to look like a coward! His legs suddenly filling woozy and his eyes filling with unsure courage, Luigi carefully crept towards the cupboard. If there was actually a creature in there, how should he defend himself? Well, a box of pasta may not be effective however it is better than nothing. Also, the Smash Mansion is home to many powerful Nintendo characters! He could just scream for help!

Luigi tremblingly opened the cupboard. All of a sudden, white flour poured out and clouded the air, causing him to cough hysterically. Blinking to clear his vision, Luigi and screamed in horror. He saw a white puffball with arms.

"It's a Boo!" Luigi wailed in panic.

"Kirby! There you are!" a certain blue puffball exclaimed.

Luigi quickly turned around and saw a pair of ghostly yellow eyed glowing in the dark. His fight-or-flight response instantly triggering, he panicky dashed up the stairs screaming, "Mariooo!"

* * *

Luigi's scream echoed throughout the entire Smash Mansion. Three of the ears that heard the panicked plumber's shriek were Toon's, Lucas's, and Ness's. The three were resting in the foyer, trying to brainstorm an interesting report.

"That was Luigi!" Lucas gasped.

"It came from the kitchen!" Ness shouted, jumping out of his seat. "Let's go!"

The three kids hurried towards the kitchen, where Mario was trying to reassure the blubbering Luigi. Luigi's skin was as pale as paper, like if he saw a Boo. Tears rolled down his stinging face.

"What happened?" Toon asked.

"I saw a Boo in the basement!" Luigi sniffed loudly.

With a gleam of confidence in their eyes, Toon, Lucas, and Ness hurriedly scribbled down some notes in their notepads. This may be an interesting story! Ness looked at Luigi and was about to ask another question when Kirby, who was covered in flour, tottered passed them with an innocent smile. Meta Knight trailed him, his eyes blue with amusement. Although he felt bad for scaring Luigi, his reaction was a bit funny! Toon, Ness, Lucas, and Mario covered their smirking mouths, trying not to laugh while Luigi could only stare awkwardly.

"Hey-a Luigi," Mario spoke up, trying not to laugh. "I think that was your Boo!"

Unable to hold in their laughter, Toon, Ness, Lucas, and Mario broke into a hysterical laughing fit. Finding his blunder hilarious instead of embarrassing, Luigi laughed along with them.

"Luigi, is it ok if we could write a story on this?" Lucas giggled.

"Sure, I don't-a mind!" Luigi answered, trying to stop laughing. "Everyone knows that I'm-a afraid of everything so it-a wouldn't be embarrassing to-a me!"

* * *

Chrom, his shepherds, Marth, and Elice were sitting in the backyard porch, reading the humorous newspaper.

"Bwahahaha!" Lissa giggled as she read the article about Luigi. "He thought it was a ghost! Ahahaha!"

Chrom took a sip of his coffee and smiled. "This is quite amusing. I enjoy reading this newspaper."

"The last time I've read the Smash Mansion newspaper, it was filled with boring events!" Elice commented with a smile.

"He saw a ghost alright!" Henry suddenly spoke up. "A fake one! Ahahahaha!" Henry laughed at his own joke while his friends groaned.

"I'm surprised Luigi allowed this to be published." Lucina said, flipping a page. "Personally if something like this happened to me, I would feel very embarrassed."

"Luigi has been known for being a coward, so he's used to being teased." Elice clarified.

Marth smiled slightly, but he felt unsure in the inside. It would be embarrassing if your humiliating mistake ended up in the paper for all to see! He wanted to say that to his Fire Emblem friends, but everyone is enjoying the paper so much! They might laugh at him if he told them this isn't right. However, the writers were given permission to publish Luigi's story, so it wasn't really rude.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Did anyone laugh at Henry's joke? I didn't and I have an immature sense of humor. **

**This is how most of the chapters will turn out. It wouldn't be descriptive and long, like my other stories. **

**Also, there is an epic tie in my poll. So if you hadn't voted yet, please check it out! Personally, I feel like starting on the runaway Marth fanfic and the Marathon fanfic, however I'll let you guys decide! Also, I'm working on the 16th chapter of Hollow, just to let some readers know.**

**Story Questions:**

**Who would you like to see next?**

**If you saw a Boo in a dark room, would you react like Luigi?**

**Would you find a gossip column amusing like Chrom, his shepherds, and Elice, or insulting and embarrassing like Marth? **

**If you were Marth, would you speak up and say the gossip column isn't right? **


	6. Chapter 6: Robbery

Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong tip-toed into the kitchen for a snack. They accidentally overslept and missed breakfast, so they decided to steal some bananas. Although one would fear getting caught by a nosy passing brawler, the two apes felt confident. They had never been caught stealing bananas.

Quietly opening the kitchen door, Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong slipped into the room. There, they saw a fresh bundle of bananas placed in a bowl on the counter. The two suspiciously eyed their surroundings for any traps. Usually, the bananas would be locked in an "ape-proof" cage.

The two apes hesitantly crept towards their prize. This is strange… This must be a trap! The bananas are simply left in the open! One of the brawlers must be hiding somewhere, ready to attack them! But… they are so hungry….

His stomach rumbling, Donkey Kong carefully took the bundle of bananas. Smiling at each other, the two apes were about to hurry out of the kitchen when all of a sudden, there was a flash of a camera.

"Freeze, banana thieves!" a certain young Canidae's voice rang out.

Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong looked up and saw Fox and Falco hiding in cupboards. Fox took another picture of Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong with the bananas. Completely panicked, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong hurried out of the kitchen.

"After them!" Falco shouted, pointing at the fleeing apes.

The Star Fox Team Members quickly chased after the robbing apes through the mansion. The brawlers and visitors noticed them, but they were an unrecognizable blur of colors. Mario and Luigi were heading towards the cafeteria when the four characters suddenly zoomed by them at the speed of light.

"WAAH!" Luigi cried out. "What-a was that?!"

"I don't-a really know." Mario answered, a bit stunned. "It can't-a be Sonic. He's blue!"

Lucina, and Owain were talking in the middle of the hallways when they were abruptly knocked down by a blur of distorted colors.

"Oh my, what was that?" Owain asked as he helped himself up. "Was that some kind of an alien?"

"I think that was Sonic!" Lucina exclaimed in awe.

"No, it can't be Sonic." Owain argued. "There was no hue of blue."

Lucina began to run after the blur. "Let's find out! C'mon, Owain, let's go!"

"Fine, fine." Owain replied, chasing after his cousin. "We shall venture into the depths of the mansion to discover the truth behind the mysterious alien."

With a frustrated sigh, Lucina slapped herself as she ran. Why does Owain HAVE to speak in theatrical fashion all the time?!

Fox and Falco chased Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong into the backward, towards the swimming pool. As they ran, they weren't looking where they were going and slipped on a puddle of water. With a surprised exclaim, a shout, and a screech, the four fell into the pool with a violent splash. Lucina and Owain arrived at the scene.

"Well, Lucina and I were wrong the whole time." Owain spoke. "The blur was not an alien, rather it was Fox, Falco, Donkey Kong, and Diddy Kong!"

With an annoyed huff, Lucina suddenly shoved Owain into the pool. She was fed up with her cousin's way of speaking. "Oh, be quiet."

* * *

"…And that is our story for today." Toon finished. He, Ness, and Lucas were showing their report to Dedede.

"I like it!" Dedede shouted. He took Toon's notepad and tossed it to a Waddle Dee, who was seated at a computer. It began to quickly type the article.

"Hey King Dedede, can we ask you something?" Lucas softly spoke up. "It's really hard to find something humiliating to write about. Can we take a break and write whatever we want?"

Dedede suddenly slammed his humongous hands on his desk in childish anger. "No, I won't let you! If you don't find something humiliating to write about, all of you are fired! If you see something happen to one of the brawlers, just write a report on it! No questions asked!"

"But, that's rude!" Ness protested.

"I don't care! Just write the reports! As long if it's juicy, the readers won't mind if it offends someone!" Dedede argued,

"Alright…" The boys sadly mumbled as they left the printing room.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Owain, I think you just scared all of my readers away! **

**Here's chapter 6. I feel that this chapter isn't as funny as the last two. Don't worry, chapter 7 will be worth it! Also, I'm currently saving a character for the climax chapter, so don't be upset if ****his**** embarrassing moment didn't pop up on the newspaper. **

**I did some research on Owain from Fire Emblem, checked out his quotes, and tried my best to type his dialogue in theatrical fashion. It was kinda hard for me, because my writing style is different. I'm not used to writing in theatrical fashion. **

**Story Questions: **

**Who would you like to see next? Any (very) humiliating ideas? **

**Do you find Owain's way of speaking irritating? **

**Did I do a good job with Owain's dialogue? **


	7. Chapter 7: Love Triangle

It was a nice summer day. Mario and Princess Peach were sitting inside a café, which was a few blocks away from the Smash Mansion. The two were talking over a cup of tea and bagels.

"It's a nice-a day for a date, isn't it?" Mario asked Princess Peach.

"Yes, it is." Princess Peach took a small sip of tea.

"How's the-a lemonade fundraiser?" Mario asked, taking a bite from his bagel.

Princess Peach sighed sadly. "It's not working well. I asked Ness to write an advertisement, but it never got published."

"I-a see…" Mario said softly. He despised seeing his girlfriend upset. "Don't-a worry! When we get-a back to the mansion, I'll-a let everyone-a know!"

"Oh, thank you Mario!" Princess Peach gave Mario a light kiss on the cheek.

At that moment, a brunette woman wearing a red dress entered the café. At first, she just wanted a cup of coffee however, she spotted Mario with Princess Peach. Hey, isn't that Mario, the man who saved her from that monstrous ape about thirty years ago? Yes, it is! She then eyed Princess Peach, right when she kissed Mario. Wait, if Mario swore to love her forever, WHAT IS SHE DOING?! Her lavender eyes turning green with jealous, the lady forgot about her coffee and stomped towards the couple.

"Waah!" Mario exclaimed in shock. "Pauline! What are you-a doing here?!"

"That's not the question!" Pauline yelled furiously. "The question is, what are you doing with her?!" She pointed to Princess Peach.

"We are just having a date." Princess Peach answered with a "hmph". She crossed her arms in annoyance. Who does this lady think she is?

With a frustrated growl, Pauline slapped Princess Peach in the face. Princess Peach gasped in shock and directly glared in her resentful eyes. "Get away from my Mario!"

"You get away!" Princess Peach screeched back.

Mario could only helplessly watch the two women bicker irately. To be honest, he loved both of them equally; it's just that one day, Pauline vanished from the face of the earth! After searching desperately for his ex-girlfriend, he met Princess Peach and they became close friends.

"Girls, I-a love both of-a you equally!" Mario quickly spoke up, frantically trying to calm down the arguing damsels. Mario's efforts were futile. Princess Peach and Pauline continued to angrily quarrel over the plumber.

Just then, Toon, Lucas, and Ness entered the café and saw the scene. The other customers were gazing at the squabbling Princess Peach and Pauline. Mario shook his head sadly and looked out the window, pretending he isn't involved in the argument.

"Whoa, is that Pauline, Mario's ex-girlfriend?" Toon asked, pointing to the drama queens.

"Yeah, it is!" Ness answered. "Rumors say that she disappeared years ago!"

"She must feel upset." Lucas nervously piped up.

"I know!" Ness replied. Suddenly, a malicious smile crept on his lips. "Hey guys, do you think this will make an interesting article?"

"I guess." Toon said. "Nothing funny has happened in the mansion yet."

"Wait, we're writing a report on this?!" Lucas squealed in surprise. "This isn't nice!"

"C'mon, Lucas." Ness said to the trembling blond. "Do you really want the Wii U?" Lucas shook his head yes. "Then we need to give our readers what they want!"

"Ok…" Lucas softly replied, feeling guilty.

* * *

Roy and Eliwood were sitting in the cafeteria, reading the report about Mario, Princess Peach, and Pauline. Roy's brows were lowered in annoyance while Eliwood didn't seem to be bothered at all.

"Grr… I'm gonna get this 'Pauline' for messing with Princess Peach and Mario!" Roy growled under his breath.

"Calm down, Roy." Eliwood said coolly. "I think Mario took care of everything."

"Still, Pauline will fight back!" Roy suddenly got out of his seat and jumped on the table, nearly spilling Eliwood's cup of tea. "She doesn't deserve Mario! Princess Peach does! She's nice, caring—"

"Get off the table, Roy." Eliwood ordered, his voice slightly rising. Roy huffed in annoyance, sat back down in his seat, crossed his arms, and began to scheme a plan against Pauline. "And I know that look in your eyes. Stop scheming." Eliwood added sternly.

Roy mentally slapped himself. Sometimes, his father just wouldn't understand!

* * *

Mario and Princess Peach entered the Smash Mansion, relieved that they finally got away from Pauline. Mario managed to finally explain to the two cross women that he loved both of them equally. Princess Peach understood, but Pauline was still resentful.

Just when the couple entered the mansion, they were immediately approached by Pit, Fox, and Krystal. Pit's wings were drooping in worry. Both Fox and Krystal were upset, not troubled.

"What's-a wrong?" Mario asked uneasily. "Did I-a do something?"

"No." Pit uneasily answered. "It's about Princess Peach and Pauline."

Mario and Princess Peach gasped in horror. "How do you know?!" Princess Peach asked restlessly. "Were you guys at the café too?!"

"It's all in the newspaper." Fox gave his newspaper to Mario, who instantly began to skim through the article.

"Mama mia!" Mario exclaimed in horror. "Every-a single detail is-a written in! What did the others say?!"

"Bowser and Wario found this to be hilarious… of course." Pit growled under his breath. He never liked the two antagonists. "But I think everyone else is angry at Pauline."

"I have a question, Mario." Krystal said. "Who do you love better: Princess Peach or Pauline?"

"Well-a…" Mario uneasily replied. "I said like-a both of them-a equally, but I-a feel that I love-a Princess Peach. She cares-a about everyone and I've-a known her for a long-a time."

Princess Peach gasped softly and blushed. "Oh, Mario…"

"There!" Krystal suddenly said. "You should stay with Princess Peach!"

Mario was about to object when Fox cut him off. "Don't worry! If Pauline interferes, we'll take care of her!"

"Well…" Mario uneasily responded. "Thank-a you everyone."

* * *

**Author's Notes: But, Eliwood I want to know Roy's plan!**

**Whoops, I wanted to upload this chapter yesterday but I was working on Hollow. xD I tried to stir up some drama but I think I did a bad job on it. I hope that I at least made the readers chuckle, especially at Roy's part. Speaking of Roy, I tried to bring back his true personality in this chapter. **

**For the millionth time, I opened another poll! On the last poll, the choices were tied, so I chose two fanfic ideas I REALLY want to get started on. /gets creamed with rotten vegetables thrown by angry readers. So, please check it out! Guests can also vote! **

**Story Questions: **

**If you were Mario, would you prefer Princess Peach over Pauline or vice versa? **

**What do you think Roy's plan was? **

**If you saw your love relationship in the newspaper, how would you react? **

****Note: I don't own SSBB, otherwise there will be more Fire Emblem characters than Pokemon characters. **


	8. Chapter 8: Smasher Confidential

Bowser, Wario, and Wolf were tip-toeing up the stairs, towards Ganondorf's room. Usually, they meet there to discuss malicious plans, however this time it was different. Once when they reached the Bearer of the Triforce of Power's door, Bowser gave it a few light knocks.

"What's the password?" Ganondorf's voice asked behind the door.

"There is no password!" Bowser, Wario, and Wolf whispered simultaneously.

Ganondorf opened the door, allowing them to enter. It was a large room with a dark, spine-chilling wallpaper. The enormous bed, which was draped with a blood red silk blanket, was in the center of the room. Right next to it were two nightstands. Across the bed, was the bathroom and closet. Velvet curtains covered the window, blocking the warm sunlight. A bureau was diagonal of the bed. It had a cup filled with pens, written papers, and a brand-new computer.

As soon when Ganondorf's friends entered, Wolf quickly shut the door after them, not noticing that it was slightly open. Bowser sat down on the floor and Wario took junk food out of his backpack. Ganondorf loaded the internet and went onto YouTube.

"Which season and episode?" Ganondorf asked.

"Season two, episode twenty-three." Bowser answered. Wolf and Wario nodded in agreement.

Ganondorf typed something in the search box, looked for the chosen video, and clicked on the link. Immediately, a certain popular cartoon's theme song began to play. It was a tad too loud, so Ganondorf instantly lowered the volume. If someone caught them watching this cartoon, their reputations will be ruined! Bowser, Wario, and Wolf quickly took some chairs and sat around the desk.

"I wonder when The Cutie Mark Crusaders will get their cutie marks!" Wolf remarked as he watched the YouTube video.

"Maybe in season four?" Bowser guessed. "Applebloom should've gotten her cutie mark in episode twelve!"

"But that would disunite The Cutie Mark Crusaders!" Wario growled as he chomped down potato chips.

"Wow, look at Snips and Snails!" Bowser said, a bit annoyed. "You know what they remind me of?"

"Who?" Ganondorf asked, expecting the answer.

"Pit's and Roy's prank." Bowser answered. "Oh yeah, did you read yesterday's article?"

"Yeah!" Wario exclaimed rudely. "It was so funny! Princess Peach and Pauline got into a huge fight over Mario! Why would they chase after him instead of me anyway?"

"Maybe it is because of your lack of hygiene." Ganondorf coolly said.

* * *

Just then, Ness, Lucas, and Toon were walking down the hallway from the cafeteria. They were a bit stunned that yesterday's articles caused a lot of rumors and drama.

"Guys, we don't want to write another article like that again!" Ness said to his friends.

"Well… it was a huge hit!" Toon spoke up.

"Why don't we write something that is actually funny, not offensive?" Lucas suggested.

"I doubt we can find a humorous report to write about." Ness said. "Lately, nothing funny as Pit's and Roy's prank has happened."

When the three walked by Ganondorf's room, they heard chatting voices and childish snickering. A bit curious and suspicious, Toon, Ness, and Lucas quietly pushed the door open, peered in the room, and saw the Nintendo antagonists watching an episode of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Feeling laughter tickle in their stomachs, the three immediately covered their mouths, muffling their giggling. Ganondorf and his friends didn't seem to notice.

"I can't believe it!" Ness whispered silently to his friends. "Ganondork and his friends are watching a kid's cartoon!"

"It is funny…" Lucas quietly said. "I think this makes an interesting report but, wouldn't that embarrass Ganondorf? He has feelings too!"

"Hey, this is the same man who tried to conquer Hyrule and tormented my brother!" Toon said soundlessly. "He needs a taste of his own medicine!"

"If that is so, then let's do it!" Lucas sternly said in determination.

"Lucas and I will be in my room writing the report." Ness said. "Can you take a picture with your phone?"

"Yeah!" Toon whispered back.

Ness and Lucas hurried to Ness's room. Taking his phone out of his floppy cap, Toon quickly took a picture of the antagonists watching their beloved cartoon and hastily raced away. It would really suck if either of them caught them nosily snooping in their business. Ganondorf, Bowser, Wario, and Wolf still stared at the computer screen, like if their were hypnotized.

* * *

After watching a few more episodes, the antagonists went to the cafeteria to take a break. Once when they entered the mess hall, they saw their archenemies reading their newspapers. Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and the Toads were awkwardly staring at Wario and Bowser. The entire Star Fox team gave a quick look at Wolf, mischievously whispered among their teammates, and chuckled. Link, Time, their oldest cousin Sky, and their 8-bit half-cousin Bitty were eying Ganondorf. The Hylians tried to hold in their laughter. Princess Zelda and residents from Ordon Village kept their eyes on their newspapers, pretending that they didn't notice Ganondorf.

"What is it?" Bowser growled suspiciously. He snatched a newspaper from a Toad's hands and quickly skimmed through the article. "What the- Guys look at this!" The antagonists quickly rushed to Bowser's side, scanned through the newspaper and gasped in horror. All of their arch-enemies were smirking under their breath.

"How the heck did they find out we were watching My Little Pony?!" Ganondorf roared in rage.

At that moment, the Mushroom Kingdom residents, Star Fox Team, and the Hyrulians broke out in hysterical laughter. They pointed at Ganondorf, Wolf, Bowser, and Wario, held their aching stomachs, and fell onto the floor. This is too funny! The evil antagonists watching "My Little Pony"?! Who even suspected?!

"Bowser and Wario, I-a never knew-a that you like-a a kid's cartoon!" Mario chortled, pointing to the tyrannical turtle and rival.

"Wolf, that's swell!" Fox mockingly. "Liking My Little Pony! I thought you hate that cartoon with your guts!"

"Ganondorf, that cartoon teaches friendship, am I right?" Princess Zelda impishly asked. "If so, why aren't you trying to befriend Link and me?" Link, his cousins, and the Ordonians heard Princess Zelda's mocking statement and laughed harder.

"I thought Ganon would hate cartoons like that!" Colin piped up to Ilia.

Ilia laughed childishly. "I know!"

Unable to handle any more humiliation, Ganondorf, Bowser, Wario, and Wolf hurried out of the cafeteria. The four decided to take a break from My Little Pony for a while.

* * *

That night, Link sat outside in the backward all by himself. The Hero of Twilight looked up at the sky's glittering stars and looming moon and thought about today's event. Yes, he found Ganondorf liking a kid's cartoon hilarious, however he felt a bit bad.

"Link, there you are!" Princess Zelda spoke, making Link jump slightly in surprise. The Hylian princess sat next to her beloved hero.

"Hi, Princess Zelda." Link greeted with a smile.

"Why are you sitting her all by yourself?" Princess Zelda asked. "Your cousins were looking for you."

"I just wanted to spend some time alone." Link answered.

"Oh, am I intruding?" Princess Zelda asked, about to stand up.

"No, it's ok." Link replied with a smile. He preferred spending time with Princess Zelda, because his cousins could be loud and annoying sometimes. "Princess Zelda?" he softly asked, unsure if he should mention his thoughts.

"Yes?"

"I thought about what happened today and…" Link paused for a moment. "…for the first time in my life, I feel bad for laughing at Ganondorf."

"I understand." Princess Zelda replied calmly. "It is not nice to laugh at others' interests."

"Do you think I should apologize to Ganondorf?" Link mentally slapped himself for asking that question.

"I don't think so." Princess Zelda answered. "When I was looking for you, I saw Sonic mocking Ganondorf. In anger, Ganondorf hit him. If it weren't for Roy, Marth, and Ike watching, a violent fight would've occurred!"

"I see…" Link said. "So, why are my cousins looking for me?"

"Oh, your cousin Sky cooked some pumpkin soup." Princess Zelda said. "He asked me to get you."

Link's azure eyes widened in astonishment and gasped, "Oh my gosh, Sky makes the best soup in the world! I hope Bitty didn't finish all the soup! Although he looks small, he has a huge appetite!"

Princess Zelda chuckled softly to herself as Link hurried into the mansion. After taking one last look at the stars, she calmly followed him in. She would like to try some of the pumpkin soup.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Gee, Ganondorf! Zelda is right! **

**I had this (not so) funny idea of the antagonists watching MLP: FiM. Just to let you know if you are a huge fan of MLP, please don't take this chapter seriously. I don't really care much about the fandom. I'm going to throw this random fun fact out: this fanfic is based on a MLP episode.**

**Alright, back to the fanfic! So far, Link notices that the newspaper can kinda be humiliating, however he still finds it amusing. And, I was really tempted to add two more of Link's cousins! Now, I got some character requests and to be honest, I may not take all of the requests because I don't know when to mention them. Also, the poll is still up if you hadn't voted. **

**List of characters humiliated in newspaper: Pit, Roy, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Fox, Falco, Mario, Princess Peach, Ganondorf, Wolf, Wario, and Bowser. Thirteen down, about 22 left to go! (I counted Red and his Pokemon as one character.) **

**Story Questions:**

**Had you ever been made fun of liking something that is childish or "out of style"?**

**If you were Link, would you feel sorry for Ganondorf?**

**Which character would you like to see get humiliated next? (It NEEDS to be a SSBB character!) **

**(You don't have to answer this question): When people ask you to add certain characters in a story, do you try to take all of their requests? **


	9. Chapter 9: A Strange Fetish

Ike was walking in the convenience store at the meat department. His face was warm and pink from a small fever. The Greil Mercenaries were planning a barbeque party in the backyard. Although he didn't feel like going out due to his little fever, he agreed to help Oscar with the food. If one were to see Ike's muscular size, he could tell that he loved to eat, especially meat.

Ike's cobalt eyes caught the largest slice of steak. It was as red as Ike's warm face. Jumping in his boots in surprise, Ike picked it up and grinned boldly. Man, the steak is just as big as his chest! This will make a perfect dinner! But, how much does it cost?

Ike eyed the white price tag, which was taped on the package. Its text was as small as a grain of sand. Is it $5.99 or $15.99? Too prideful to ask someone the price, Ike looked closer at the tag. Is his eyes fooling him? Does he really need glasses? Admittedly, yesterday he had been playing Mario Kart Wii with his friends for hours. They didn't take a single break. But, that couldn't damage his eyes that fast!

Toon was walking around the aisle for junk food when he saw Ike creepily staring at the large, fresh steak. The little Hylian giggled quietly. Ike must've been bewildered by the humongous size of that steak! He loves to eat meat!

Strangely, Ike was as still as a stature. With a raised eyebrow, Toon silently crept towards the stunned mercenary. His cat eyes wandered onto his red, flushed face. He looked like he was possessed by a demon. Toon recoiled at Ike's dazed look. Was he that surprised?

A bit terrified, Toon was about to scurry away when something stopped him. Hey! This can make an interesting article! Stepping back so Ike couldn't see him, Toon took out his iPhone, snapped a picture, and hurried away. He hoped the mercenary didn't see him.

Ike stood at the meat department for another minute, still trying to read the tiny price tag.

"Hey Ike," Oscar asked, approaching the dazed bluenette. He was carrying a basket full of food. "why are you staring at the steak?"

Ike snapped out of his daze. "Oh, well… I was looking at the price tag. It's so small. I'm not sure if it costs $5.99 or $15.99."

Oscar took a quick look. "It's probably $15.99. $5.99 is too good of a deal." Ike looked down sadly. "It's ok. I think it's worth it."

"Alright!" Ike exclaimed with a smile. He put the steak in Oscar's basket and the two mercenaries went to pay for their purchases.

Unbeknownst to Ike and Oscar, Toon was hiding in one of the aisles. The little Hylian was frantically texting to Ness on his iPhone.

_"hey ness!"_

_ "yeah?did u get the snacks?"_

_ "not yet. Check out dis pic of ike"_

Toon sent Ness the strange picture of Ike staring at the large steak.

_"wth is with ike xD"_

_ "i dunno. I thought dis would make a funny report."_

_ "i know ike likes meat. is he having an affair with dat steak?!"_

_ "i dunno lol. maybe. his face is really red!"_

_ "IKR! lets put it on the newspaper!"_If Toon was with Ness at that moment, he would've seen his mischievous grin.

_"r u sure?"_

_ "yea toon!"_

_ "ok… tell lucas to write a report and give it to ddd."_

_ "ok."_

* * *

Marth was humming a small lighthearted tune as he walked to the cafeteria for a snack. On the way, he saw some of the brawlers and visitors reading the newspaper. They were giggling and snorting under their breath. Marth raised an eyebrow. Today's featured gossip must be really hilarious!

Marth spotted a free newspaper lying on the ground. Although he disliked reading about gossip, the curious Altean prince picked it up and began to skim through it. His tranquil cerulean eyes widened in shock. Ike has a meat fetish?! That isn't true! Ike just loves to eat meat! Shaking violently, Marth angrily clutched the newspaper, crushing it. His powerful, merciless princely nature slowly overcame his childish personality. He is sick of all of these ridicules! No one has the RIGHT to disrespect everyone's privacy! He MUST let the Hands know about this!

As Marth stomped to the Hands' office, he passed by Ike, Mist, and Soren. Ike was wearing a brown paper bag over his beet-red face. He was so embarrassed by the gossip article, he refused to show his face in public! That fused the anger in Marth's heart.

"Hi, Marth!" Mist greeted, unaware that Marth was enraged.

"Ko…ni…chi…wa." Marth growled furiously under his breath.

Mist jumped at bit. "I wonder why is Marth angry?"

"I don't know and I don't want to know." Soren emotionlessly answered.

Meanwhile, Master Hand and Crazy Hand were sitting their office, reading the newspaper.

"Pfft! Hahahaha!" Crazy Hand laughed. "Ike has a fetish for meat!"

"I find this very interesting to read." Master Hand said. "It's addicting! It shows many untold facts about the brawlers!"

At that moment, Marth slammed the door open and stomped towards Master Hand's desk. The Hands jumped; they had never seen Marth so angry before.

"What's wrong, Marth?" Crazy Hand asked.

Marth eyed the newspapers in the Hands' hands. (Fingers to be exact.) Although enraged, he suddenly felt uneasy. What if Master Hand and Crazy Hand administered the paper? He heard rumors that King Dedede was actually the editor of the paper, but someone got to supervise him! If he complained about the paper, the Hands might tell Dedede to write a report about him being against the gossip articles! Everyone in the Smash Mansion will be furious at him for hating their beloved, juicy articles! Glaring at Master Hand and Crazy Hand for a few seconds, Marth shouted, "NEVER MIND!", stamped out of the office, and violently slammed the door shut.

"What just happened?" Crazy Hand asked his older brother.

"I think Marth was in a bad mood." Master Hand calmly answered.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I think a new pairing is born! **

**I got many requests that Lucario should be humiliated next. However, I was currently working on Ike's embarrassing moment at that time. Also, I have a funny idea for Sonic, so keep an eye out for that! I don't know how should Lucario be humiliated, so please leave a suggestion! **

**For the poll, the Runaway Marth story currently has the most votes. I'm keep the poll up for a while, so check it out if you didn't vote!**

**Story Questions:**

**Had you ever been caught awkwardly staring at nothing?**

**If you read a humiliating article about your best friend, would you react like Marth?**

**Why do you think the Hands didn't do anything to stop the embarrassing gossip articles? **

**Is the article starting to invade people's privacy? **


	10. Chapter 10: Gotta go fast!

Sonic and his pals Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow were sitting the strangely-empty cafeteria, gazing at a laptop. They were playing a tricky maze game. In order to reach the next level, they needed to guide a cursor through a complicated maze to a red box. Although it seemed easy, if they touch the walls they will go back to the beginning of the level.

"Why are we doing this again?" Tails asked.

"Fox and Falco said they can reach level one hundred!" Sonic growled a reply as he focused on the game. "I'm gonna beat them!"

"What level are we on again?" Amy asked in an innocent voice.

"Level two." Knuckles answered.

"There!" Sonic sighed loudly. It took them thirty minutes to finish the second level. "We're finally at Level Three!"

The blue hedgehog's friends silently groaned. Sometimes, Sonic takes his rivalry with Fox and Falco too seriously. Really interested in the maze game, the hedgehogs continued to stare at the tiny cursor, which slowly crawled through the mage like a worm. If the third level's maze is this complicated, than how hard are the other levels? Did Fox and Falco actually reach the hundredth level?! That can't be true! The maze game is too tricky!"

"Darn it!" Sonic shouted in frustration. When he was about to guide the cursor into the red box, he accidentally bumped into a wall, sending the cursor back to the beginning of the level.

"Aww, we need to start all over again…" Tails groaned.

Sonic tried again. Although he wanted to quit, he refused to. He wants to beat his rivals Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi! It took him another thirty minutes to nearly reach the red box.

"Finally!" Sonic gasped.

"I can't believe you're doing this." Shadow rudely remarked.

"Oh, shut up." Sonic replied with a scorn. He led the cursor into the red box.

Instead of reaching level four, a petrifying face of a frightening little girl suddenly popped up on the screaming, screaming stridently at the startled hedgehogs. The little girl had scars that littered its greenish-pale skin, dead demonic eyes, pointy crooked teeth, and tousled brown hair. If one were to stare at her for too long, her spine-tingling face will burn in the victim's sensitive retina for months.

Completely panicked and not expecting the sudden screamer to pop up, all of the hedgehogs began to run around the cafeteria, screaming uncontrollably. Amy was sobbing hysterically, Knuckles and Shadow jumped out the open window, and Tails accidentally ran into a wall in the panic. Utterly startled, Sonic accidentally urinated on the flat floor. He never went to the bathroom, because he was too focused on the maze game.

"Oh my gosh, Sonic!" Amy exclaimed, pointing to the puddle of urine Sonic created.

"Crap!" Sonic shouted, blushing in embarrassment. At least Fox and Falco aren't here now!

"Wow, Sonic." Tails teased with a grin. "Aren't you too old to wear diapers?"

"Oh, be quiet!" Sonic replied with a growl. "Darn you Fox and Falco… I'm gonna get back at them!"

"Let's clean this mess up." Amy said, about to leave the cafeteria to get some sponges, a bucket of water, and soap. At that moment, footsteps were heard hurrying towards the cafeteria.

"No, everyone can't see me like this!" Sonic quickly said, shutting down his laptop. "Let's get out of here!"

Without wasting a single precious second, the hedgehogs dashed out of the cafeteria via jumping out of the window. They hoped that no one saw them panic over a maze prank. Unfortunately, a certain little Hylian was hiding behind a trash can and took pictures of the entire embarrassing scene.

* * *

Marth snuck into the printing room during lunch. He knew that all of the workers were taking a break at this moment. This would be a good chance to depose the gossip article! Marth planned to sneak out of the mansion and take the humiliating papers to the local recycling center.

The newly-made newspapers were stacked neatly on a table. Carefully looking around for anyone spying, Marth took a quick peek at the gossip article. Sonic urinating in the cafeteria?! He grinned a bit before returning to his stern deadpan expression. Although he didn't like Sonic do to his arrogance, the cocky hedgehog doesn't deserve to get humiliated! Why can't these articles be about something positive?!

Marth took as many newspapers as he could hold in his arms. He hurried out of the printing room with a confident smile. No one's reputation is going to get ruined this time! The prince's boots hurriedly thumped the ground as he dashed towards the front door.

When he reached the front door, Marth set the stack of newspapers down and was about to pull the door open and rush outside when he heard someone shout, "Hey, Marth!" Slightly jumping in surprise, the bluenette prince quickly turned around and saw Lucas innocently staring at him.

"Oh, konichiwa!" Marth greeted, smiling nervously.

"What are you doing to today's papers?" Lucas asked, unaware of Marth's plan.

Marth uneasily looked down and tapped the floor nervously with his boots. What should he say? Should he tell Lucas that he's taking the offensive newspaper articles to the recycling center, or he's just giving them to the Greil Mercenaries, who are outside? Panicking in the inside, Marth accidentally blurted out, "I-I-I just wanted to help! I want t-to help work in the n-newspaper t-too!"

With a startled gasp, Marth covered his mouth. Wanting to take it back, he was about to say something else when Lucas piped up. "Really, Marth? That's great! The more help, the better!"

Lucas immediately dashed away to tell Dedede the news. "Wait, Ryuka—!" Marth spoke up. It was too late. The little blond was already gone. His heart filling with anguish, the prince collapse onto his knees, buried his face in the palm of his hands, and sighed sadly. He wished words could be taken back.

* * *

Sonic and his pals anxiously entered the mansion. The five were still a bit jumpy

"I hope no one saw us!" Tails gasped.

"I don't think so." Sonic replied confidently.

At that moment, Fox and Falco approached them with a sly grin. Held in their hands was the gossip articles. Sonic raised an eyebrow in anxiety. Oh no, did they see his reaction to the maze game?!

"Gee, Sonic." Fox said mockingly, giving Sonic the article. "I never knew 'Gotta go fast.' meant this!"

Sonic quickly skimmed through the report and shouted, "Hey did they find out?!" Fox and Falco began to laugh hysterically at Sonic and their pals. Anger burst in the hedgehogs' heart. In fury, they lunged at Fox and Falco.

"I'LL GET YA FOR THIS!" Sonic shouted furiously at the Star Fox Team members.

"Let's run, Falco!" Fox quickly said to his avian partner.

"Yeah!" Falco replied with a smirk.

The Star Fox Team members hurriedly dashed through the mansion with the irate hedgehogs hot on their trail. The other brawlers and visitors, who were standing in the hallways reading the paper, looked to see what was the sudden commotion.

Eventually, Fox slipped on a banana peel left by Donkey Kong and fell flat on his face. Falco crashed into him in the rush. Sonic and his pals pounced on them like a cat and began to beat the hapless Star Fox Team Members. In defense, the yelling Fox and Falco violently struggled and kicked back. The violent commotion attracted Roy, Pit, Kirby, Ike, Samus, Chrom, and Palutena to the scene.

Roy tackled Sonic to the ground. "Whoa, stop this!"

"Stop beating each other!" Pit exclaimed as he grabbed Fox.

"Pyrooo!" Kirby squealed worriedly, jumping on Knuckle's head.

Ike took Falco's hand and firmly held them behind his back. "Hey, calm down!"

"Stop this." Samus coldly said, taking Tails by his tail.

"This is ridiculous." Chrom spoke sternly, grabbing Shadow by his hand.

"I order this fighting to stop!" Palutena instructed loudly, stomping on Amy.

"They started it!" Sonic growled at Fox and Falco, who glared back.

"No, that isn't true!" Fox retorted, trying to break free of Pit's grasp.

"Enough!" Palutena shouted at the top of her voice. "Fox and Falco, apologize to Sonic and his friends!"

"Fine, fine." Fox and Falco muttered. "We're sorry, Sonic."

"Now, are we 'friends' now?" Palutena asked strictly.

"Yeah. "Fox, Falco, and Sonic said simultaneously.

The Star Fox Team Members and the hedgehogs were released from their friends' grasp. Before parting however, they scowled angrily at each other and departed in opposite directions.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Oh, Marth. What had you gotten yourself into? **

**Here's chapter 10! Lots of people requested Lucario to be humliated, so he's going to be next! (Along with the other Pokemon!) Also, I'm going to keep my poll up for another week. By the way, "Ryuka" is Lucas's Japanese name. **

**List of characters humiliated: Pit, Roy, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Fox, Falco, Mario, Peach, Ganondorf, Wolf, Wario, Bowser, Ike, Sonic.**

**Story Questions: **

**Are you always determined to beat your rivals? **

**If you were Marth trying to dispose the newspapers, what would you do? **

**After Lucario, which SSBB character(s) should be next? **

**(This determines the plot, so please try to answer this.): Marth's going to work in the newspaper from now on. Do you think he should leave the newspaper and continue plotting to terminate the paper, play along with Toon, Ness, and Lucas's reports, or try to make the gossip newspapers more positive than humiliating? **


	11. Chapter 11: Spelling Phail!

Owain and Lucina awkwardly stared at the messy kitchen. White flour was on the counter. There were five large puddles of milk, soda, and apple juice on the floor. A bowl of week-old potato salad clogged the sink's drain. Bread crumbs were scattered on the table, along with apple peels and banana peels. Three trash cans were tipped over, spilling it's dirty and smelly contents.

Last night, Red's Pokemon managed to sneak into the Mansion's kitchen. What started as a late midnight snack turned into a humongous feast. They would've gotten away with it if Charizard hadn't accidentally activated the fire alarm with his flamethrower move. Greatly upset by the enormous mess, Master Hand wanted Red and his Pokemon to clean up the trashed kitchen. However, Red and his Pokemon had a match today, so they don't have the time to do so.

"I didn't expect this to be this messy." Lucina said in annoyance.

"Thou saw the mess as a breeze." Owain answered with a straight face. "O, thy confidence overflowed the bucket. The breeze was as gentle as a tornado."

"This will take hours to clean it up!" Lucina sighed in frustration. "I don't want to miss the match between Ike and Roy!"

"O, an idea has come!" Owain suddenly exclaimed. "The idea resembles the gleam of gold! Thou and I shall not do the work, another individual shall!"

"I know!" Lucina smirked. "Red's Pokemon! They were the ones who caused the mess!"

"They shall only obey their admired master's orders like Ike ordering his loyal mercenaries, never to follow ours." Owain replied in a sad voice.

Unbeknownst to the two teens, Henry was outside of the kitchen, listening to the conversation. Although he was unusually happy and seemed to be careless, he is surprisingly a good father. The erratic yet sympathetic magician felt sorry for his son and niece. They really want to watch Ike's and Roy's match... He got a mischievous idea. Pretending that he didn't hear anything, he entered the kitchen with a beaming smile.

"Hey, Owain and Lucina!" he cheerfully greeted. "You guys don't look happy! What's wrong?"

"We want to watch Ike's and Roy's match, but we need to clean up the kitchen." Lucina explained, forcing a sad smile.

"O father, our desires have been star-crossed!" Owain exclaimed with a sorrowful sigh.

"Kids, don't worry about the mess!" Henry said with a grin. "I'll clean it up!"

"Are you sure?" Lucina asked with a raised eyebrow. She suspected her uncle was up to no good. "It will take hours!"

"Don't worry!" Henry replied joyfully. "I'll be ok! Go watch Ike's and Roy's match! I think it is starting now!"

Lucina was about to say something else when Owain stopped her. "Tis match is approaching its unbreakable fate! Let's hurry, time loves to run nonstop!"

Henry watched his beloved son and niece hurry out of the kitchen. Sensing that they were gone, the magician snuck out of the kitchen's backdoor to the backyard. Of course he's not going to clean up the kitchen! It will take hours, like what Lucina said! He's going to let someone else deservingly do it!

At that moment, Red's Pokemon and Olimar's Pikmin were lightheartedly playing in the little forest. Their trainer and master went inside the mansion to get some snacks and drinks. Squirtle was blowing some bubbles for the blue Pikmin to pop. Ivysaur was letting the white Pikmin use his vines for their jumprope game. The red Pikmin were scurrying around Charizard, who was careful not to stomp on them. The purple Pikmin were trying to carry Jigglypuff, who was taking a small nap. Pikachu was amusing the yellow Pikmin with his electric sparks. Lucario was meditating instead of playing.

All of them were unaware that Henry was watching them from the bushes. He opened his mysterious book of magic and softly whispered a sinister spell. It hypnotized all of the Pokemon and Pikmin. Their eyes were lost signs of emotion. Without a sigh of protest, they silently strolled back to the mansion, to the kitchen. Henry followed them.

Arriving at the kitchen, the Pikmin quickly opened a cupboard full of cleaning supplies and carried them to the Pokemon. Squirtle began to spray water into buckets filled with liquid soap. Lucario picked up a mop, soaked it into the soapy water, and began to mop the floor. He looked like he was dancing with it, not cleaning up. Ivysaur began to pick up the trash. After when the trash cans were filled, Charizard carried them out of the kitchen, towards the front gate. Pikachu was sweeping the flour and crumbs with his lightning bolt-shaped tail. Jigglypuff was trying to wash the thick potato salad down the drain. Some of the Pikmin began to pick the apple and banana peels and throw them in the garbage cans.

Henry was watching the scene through a window. "That should handle it!" he said to himself with a proud grin. He hurried away.

At that moment, Red and Olimar went to the forest with their drinks and snacks, only to find their dear Pokemon and Pikmin gone. "Where could they be?" Red asked out loud, feeling a bit uneasy. Olimar looked at the Pokemon trainer and shrugged his tiny shoulders. "Let's check the kitchen!" Red suggested.

When Red and Olimar entered the kitchen, they were for a huge surprise. Their beloved Pokemon and Pikmin are cleaning up the kitchen! They didn't seem to feel a thing! Didn't Lucina and Owain promise to clean it up?! Did the two Fire Emblem characters force the Pokemon and Pikmin to do their work?!

"What the—" Red started, a bit startled. "GUYS! Stop it!"

Strangely, all of the Pokemon and Pikmin didn't obey Red's order. Olimar, who kept calm, blow his whistle loudly. This knocked all of the Pokemon and Pikmin out of their trance. The Pikmin hurried towards Olimar and obediently surrounded him, waiting for his orders. The confused Pikachu scurried towards Red and looked at him with a, "Pikaa?" Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard stopped what they were doing to headed towards their trainer. Startled by Olimar's high-pitch whistle, Jigglypuff fell headfirst into the sink. Lucario tossed the mop down with a scoff.

"I can't believe..." Red spoke angrily. "Lucina and Owain let them do all the work!" Olimar nodded quickly, feeling a bit mad. "Let's find them. We need to have a chat with them." Red, Olimar, the Pokemon, and the Pikmin left the kitchen.

* * *

Toon hurried into Ness's room. "Guys, guys! I found an interesting story to write about!"

The Hylian gave his notepad and pictures on his phone to his friends, who quickly looked through it. Marth was quietly standing in the corner of the room, watching the three kids. "Wow, Lucina and Owain forced the Pokemon and Pikmin to clean up the entire kitchen for them!" Marth's cool blue eyes widened a bit. This article is going to cause a war between the Fire Emblem characters, Red, and Olimar!

"Will people find it interesting?" Lucas asked naively. "I find it interesting!"

"I think so." Ness answered. "It's because Lucina and Owain usually put their responsibilities first!"

"Let's show this to Dedede now!" Toon said with a beaming smile.

"I would like to, but I don't feel like it." Ness sighed. "Since we got into this newspaper business, we didn't have any spare time to do our own things!"

"I know..." Lucas said.

Marth suddenly got an idea. "I do it!"

Ness, Lucas, and Toon looked at Marth with happy gleams in their eyes. "Really?"

"Err... Yes!" Marth answered. "I show it to Dedede!"

"Gee, thanks!" Toon gave his notepad and iPhone to Marth and hurried away with Ness and Lucas.

Marth entered the printing room. Strangely it was empty. Everyone seemed to be on their break today. Spotting a small note on Dedede's desk, the prince quickly read it.

_Hey kids, if you have something to write about, type the article on the computer! The workers and me are taking the day off!" -Dedede_

Marth shook wildly as he sat down in front of a computer. He was a bit afraid of technology, since he came from a land where no machines existed. He never understood how it worked.

On the computer, Marth opened a typing program. His shaking hands unsteadily touched the keyboard's keys. Well, he could look at Toon's notepad and type the information but he doesn't want to do that! Marth **wants to change **some parts of Toon's written report! But how can he do that? He's only good in understanding, speaking, and reading English! Spelling is one of his weakest points! No, he can't back away now! He needs to do this because he said so! Swallowing his fearfulness, Marth began to quickly type the article.

* * *

Pit, Roy, and Palutena were sitting in the backyward, keeping their confused eyes on the puzzling newspaper. "Hey Pit, what does 'cleinning' mean?" Roy asked with a raised eyebrow. About ninety percent of the words in the article were misspelled.

"I don't know." Pit answered, shaking his head. "Do you know, Lady Palutena?"

"I assume it's a misspelled word." Palutena answered. "It must be 'cleaning'."

"Wait, what?" Roy spoke up in a baffled tone. "Dansing?! Shalead?! Shope?! Who wrote this article?!"

"I know!" Pit piped up, feeling a bit frustrated. "I can't read this article! Did anyone even proofread this?!"

"Marth can spell better than this!" Roy offensively remarked. "And his main language isn't English!"

Unbeknownst to the three, Marth was silently hiding in the bushes, listening to the conversation. The Prince of Altea's face went a bright shade of red. Well, at least Lucina, Owain, Red, and Olimar didn't get into an argument!

* * *

**Author's Notes: Marth! There's something called spellcheck! **

**Sorry for not updating lately. I've been pretty busy with school! I'll try to upload the next chapter as soon as I can. And, no one's voting for the next fanfic idea, so I'm closing it. It's official; the runaway Marth story is the next fanfic.**

**Story Questions:**

**If you were Lucina and Owain, would you finish cleaning the kitchen and not see Ike's and Roy's match, or not? **

**When typing something, do you literally RELY on resources to check your spelling? **

**Should another character (Either brawler or visitor) join the newspaper? If so, who would you like to see and why? (I'm considering this idea!)**

**Many people requested that Link should be humiliated next. What do you think is going to happen? **


	12. Chapter 12: Barking up the Wrong Tree

Link was stealthily walking down the hallways like a ninja. His azure eyes quickly darted around his silent surroundings. He and Princess Zelda were playing a small game. Although they were nearly adults, it didn't hurt to let out their childish side once in a while.

After searching the hallways, the library, the teleporter room, and the foyer, Link snuck to the cafeteria to look for Princess Zelda. Darn, she is sure good at hide-and-seek! He looked under every table and chair. Roy and Pit, who were talking over a Nutella sandwich, eyed the blond Hylian.

"What's he doing?" Pit asked Roy with a raised eyebrow.

Roy shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Let me ask him. Hey Link! What are you looking for?!"

Link hissed under his breath and looked at Pit and Roy with a stern expression. "I'm looking for Princess Zelda! She's hiding somewhere in the mansion!" He continued to look around the mansion.

"Well, we didn't see her here, just saying." Pit said with a sad smile.

"Oh, I see." Link spoke, his eyes full of awkwardness. After looking under Pit's and Roy's table, he quickly left the cafeteria.

Next, Link looked in the kitchen. Princess Zelda should be in here! He emptied and looked in every cupboard. Although he knew it was a bit silly, Link looked in the gigantic refrigerator, which was filled with food. Even though it was impossible for a grown Hylian woman to hide in the refrigerator, Link dumped out all of the food. He thought Princess Zelda was hiding underneath the grub.

After peering in the stove, Link began to panic a bit. Oh no, he searched everywhere for Princess Zelda! If he can't find her, that means she is in trouble! Trying to keep calm, Link hurried out of the kitchen through the back door. He began to quickly tip over the filthy garbage cans and look inside for Princess Zelda.

"Zelda?!" Link shouted worriedly as he looked inside a garbage can. "Princess Zelda?!"

Link dashed around the backyard as he screamed Princess Zelda's name. He looked in the swimming pool. Nope, Princess Zelda isn't in there! Link looked on the porch, where Marth was sitting.

"Rinku-kun, what's wrong?" Marth asked. Worry filled his eyes.

"Princess Zelda and I are playing hide-and-seek and I can't find her! I looked everywhere in the mansion!" Link panicky explained, looking around anxiously. "What if someone kidnapped her?!"

"Rinku-kun, I—" Marth calmly started.

"She must be scared!" Link continued. He began to anxiously walk around in circles. "It's all my fault! I'm a failure as a hero!"

"RINKU-KUN!" Marth shouted loudly, knocking Link out of his terrified thoughts. "Listen!" Link stopped nervously walking and eyed the prince. "Calm down!" Marth said softly, forcing a smile. "Did you look in forest?"

Link eyed the little forest flourishing at the north-west part of the backyard. "No."

"Why don't we look there?" Marth asked.

"Well, alright."

Link and Marth went into the forest, looking for Princess Zelda. They checked behind every tree and bush. The forest was awfully quiet. The little songbirds were sweetly singing a small melody. The calm breeze gently rustled the green leaves. Link twitched his pointy ears for any suspicious sounds. Marth just trusted his instincts.

"Do you see anything, Marth?" Link asked, peering around.

"No." Marth unhappily answered. He glanced at an enormous oak tree. "We didn't look there! Let's go!"

Link and Marth circled around the oak tree's trunk. They didn't find Princess Zelda. Link was about to give up when an acorn bonked him on the head.

"What the—" the startled Link exclaimed. More acorns fell onto his head.

Marth looked up and gasped. "Rinku-kun! It's Zeruda-san!"

Link looked around and saw Princess Zelda standing on a tree branch. She had an uncharacteristic naughty smirk on her face. Instead of exploding anger onto the Hylian Princess, Link gasped in fright and began to hurriedly scale up the tree.

"Don't worry, Princess!" he called, climbing onto the branch where Princess Zelda was sitting. "I'll save you!"

Princess Zelda's easygoing eyes widened in fright. "What are you doing, Link?!"

"Rescuing you!" Link bravely answered. He held out his open hand. "C'mon, grab my hand! I'll help you down!"

Marth smirked under his breath and watched Link's little "rescue mission". It's oblivious that Zelda could simply climb down without help. The branch was only ten feet above the grassy ground. Sometimes, Link could get unbelievably overprotective.

"I can get down by myself!" Princess Zelda said, her voice rising. Link began to carefully come closer to her. There was a small creak. "Link, what are you doing?! You're going to—!"

All of a suddenly, the branch broke with a loud snap. Link and Zelda fell off with a loud yell and dropped onto Marth, who was standing directly below them. Pain smashed on his back and the poor prince screamed in agony.

"Marth, are you alright?" Link asked. Trying not to cry, Marth nodded his head yes and smiled. "How about you, Zelda?" Princess Zelda didn't answer. Link raised an eyebrow in worry. Oh no... Is she hurt? Is she upset? "Are you ok, Princess?" Link uneasily asked again.

All of a sudden, Princess Zelda began to laugh uncontrollably like a child. Link and Marth were a bit confused. She just fell off a tree! Why is she laughing?! "I had never had so much fun in years!" Zelda giggled. "You should've seen the look on your face, Link!"

As Zelda laughed, Link and Marth began to laugh along with her. Whenever the two heard someone they like laugh, they felt cheerful.

* * *

After walking back to the mansion with Link and Princess Zelda, Marth went to the printing room. There, Toon, Lucas, and Ness were discussing their ideas on today's article. Unlike Lucas and Ness who were calm, Toon had a pouty look on his face. Dedede was lazily sitting at his desk, listening to their ideas. The Waddle Dees were standing orderly in a line, waiting for Dedede's orders. With a timid smile, Marth stood near the doorway and listened to the conversation.

"What are today's reports?" Dedede asked.

"Well..." Lucas quickly opened his notepad. "It's about Link."

"We caught some pictures of him causing a mess in all of the the mansion's rooms." Ness explained. "Everyone's wondering who was culprit, so this will be a large hit!"

"I still think we shouldn't do this!" Toon huffed angrily. "There must be a reason why my big brother did this!"

"Hey, Link won't mind!" Ness retorted calmly. "Besides, the newspaper doesn't even mention who wrote the article, right Dedede?"

"That's right!" Dedede answered with a grin.

Toon's tiny ears dropped a bit. "Ok, fine."

"Great!" Dedede turned to the Waddle Dees. "Start working!"

Marth quietly looked down at the floor with an unhappy expression. What did the report say about Link's reason for making a huge mess in the Smash Mansion's rooms? It must be something completely made up! Oh, if could just say that this is wrong!

Lucas gave his notepad to one of the Waddle Dees. It went onto the computer and turned it on. When it tried to go on the typing program to type the report, strangely it wouldn't load. All of a sudden, the entire computer screen went into a shocking blue color with complicated words and numbers on it. The Waddle Dee squealed in fright and tumbled onto the floor. Marth smirked to himself. Haha! It looks like the computer caught a virus!

Dedede saw the computer crash and groaned. "Great, the typing program is messed up! We need to use another computer! Does anybody know anyone who has a computer?"

Marth thought of someone. Once in a while, he would see Roy and Pit play video games on Eliwood's laptop. "Eriuddo-san has one!" Marth blurted out.

Dedede gave Marth a strange look. "Who are you talking about?"

"Roi-kun's dad!" Marth answered.

"Great!" Dedede exclaimed. "Type the report on his computer and email it to me ASAP!"

A Waddle Dee took the notepad, scribbled Dedede's email address on a page, and gave it to Marth. Marth exited the printing room, feeling a bit confident and nervous. If Eliwood allowed him to use his laptop, he can change the report and not make Link look bad! But, he can't spell well... Also, what if Eliwood wouldn't allow him to use his laptop? How can he explain that to Dedede?

Marth quickly looked everywhere for Eliwood, but strangely he couldn't find the redheaded lord. He might had went to the convenience store. Eventually, he decided to sneak into Eliwood's guest room and sneakily use his laptop. It was rude especially for a prince, but Marth was very desperate.

Eliwood's room was awfully quiet and empty. Marth tip-toed towards the desk, where the laptop was sitting. He sat down in a chair and turned on the laptop. Lucky for the Altean prince, Eliwood had the typing program on his laptop.

Marth opened the program and was about to nervously start typing the report when he suddenly heard a voice. "Hey Dad, are you there?"

The blue-haired prince panicky exclaimed, "I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO USE IT WITHOUT PERMISSION!"

Roy raised an eyebrow and smirked to himself. "It's me, Marth." Marth sighed in relief as Roy went by the bluenette's side. "What's wrong?" Roy asked in a concerned tone. Marth quickly explained Roy the situation he was in. "Oh, you want to type and change the article, so it won't be offensive?" Marth shook his head yes. "I agree with you." Roy replied with a stern look. "I have to admit, the articles were amusing however, they could be insulting."

"Really?" Marth asked, his eyes wide.

"Yes, I really mean it." Roy answered with a friendly smile.

"Oh!" Marth rose from his seat and gave Roy a huge hug before letting go.

"Tell you what," Roy said, sitting down. "you tell me what to put. I'll type." The redhead winked at the prince, who blushed slightly.

"O-Ok." Marth said, trying to calm down. "Today at the Smash Mansion..."

* * *

Link and Zelda were sitting in the cafeteria having a small conversation when Rustl, Illia, Colin, Time, and Sky approached them. "Hey guys!" Link greeted with a small smile. He saw the cold glare in Time's and Sky's blue eyes, the stern expression on Rustl's face, and the worried look on Illia's and Colin's faces. Link's pointy ears drooped in anguish, thinking about the huge mess he made in the mansion. "It's about the mess I created, right?"

Rustl's face softened. "No, we want to say that we're proud of you."

Link's mouth dropped slightly as Zelda giggled. "For what?!" he blurted out.

"You went through all that trouble just to find Princess Zelda!" Illia said sweetly. "You're so caring..."

"Yeah!" Colin piped up.

"Guys, guys." Link said. "I'm confused! How did you find out about this?"

"We saw it in the paper." Time answered, giving Link the article.

Link's azure eyes widened in shock as he skimmed through the paper. "What the—! Guys, Princess Zelda and I were just playing hide-and-seek and I overreacted because I couldn't find her! Why are you guys proud? It's nothing!"

"It says that you're aware and protective of the people you love." Rustl explained.

"But—" Link was cut off by Sky, his oldest cousin.

"No buts!" Sky shouted with a beaming grin. "That's the trait of a hero!" The first incarnation of the Hero's Spirit gave Link a huge embrace. Time, Princess Zelda, Rustl, Illia, and Colin joined in.

"W-Well," Link softly said, bewildered by the sudden embrace. "t-thank you everyone."

* * *

Eliwood had just gotten back from strolling around the Smash Mansion's backyard. He eyed the thick covered books sitting at the foot of his bed. No, he had already read them over ten times! He turned on his laptop, feeling bored for the first time.

Suddenly, hundreds of error messages began to pop all over the screen, startling Eliwood. Eliwood quickly moved his mouse to "X" out the messages however, this caused the entire screen to turn blue. White numbers and complicated words began to flood the screen.

Instead of screaming in fury and throwing the poor laptop out the window, Eliwood just calmly closed the laptop screen and walked out of his room to the library. In fact, he was glad that his laptop broke. Finally, Roy and Pit will do something else other than stare at moving things on a screen!

* * *

**Author's Note: Eliwood, you didn't suspect that someone used your computer without permission? No? **

**This chapter came out longer than expected. I decided to add a little bit of fluff here, since Link X Zelda are one of my favorite pairings. *Gets chased by angry shippers* And I guess Marth gave the Martha Disease to two computers! XD By the way, "Sky" is the Link from Skyward Sword.  
**

**List of SSBB character mentioned in the newspaper: Pit, Roy, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Fox, Falco, Mario, Peach, Ganondorf, Wolf, Wario, Bowser, Ike, Sonic, all of the Pokemon, all of the Pikmin, Link, Zelda**

**Story Questions: **

**Had you ever gotten panicked over a little thing, it made the situation more complicated? **

**If your computer glitched and crashed due to a strange virus, how would you react? **

**Which SSBB character should be next? **

****I don't own SSBB**


	13. Chapter 13: Canned Like a Tuna

Samus had just returned from her match against Jigglypuff, Snake, and Mr. Game & Watch. Completely fatigued, she decided to get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria and relax outside in the backyard.

She sat down in a chair at a table and looked around her peaceful surroundings. It was a sunny day. There was not a single gloomy cloud in the sky. The Ice Climbers were joyfully playing in the grass. Ike was sitting at a table not too far from Samus, introducing Soren to Link. Link seemed welcoming, however Soren looked bored. Captain Falcon was watching the Ice Climbers play, wondering if he should join their little game.

Samus set her cup of warm coffee and grasped her power suit's helmet with her hands, taking it off. Strangely, it wouldn't budge, like if it was glued to her suit with permanent super glue. Samus gave her helmet another jolt. It still didn't move. The bounty hunter began to panic a bit. She felt canned like a tuna. Oh no... What happened? Maybe the suit glitched when Mr. Game & Watch let out his infamous high-pitch beep!

Samus took notice of Captian Falcon. "Captain Falcon, I need your help!" she whispered loudly to the racer.

Captain Falcon heard Samus's hissing whisper and went towards the bounty hunter. "What is it?"

"I can't take my helmet off!" Samus explained. "It's stuck!"

"Let me try to take it off." Captain Falcon offered with a grin.

Captain Falcon grabbed hold of Samus's helmet with his strong hands and tried to jerk it off. It still didn't budge a bit. Not even a single creak was heard.

"Ike and Link, I need your help!" Captain Falcon called out.

Ike and Link excused themselves and went to Captain Falcon. Soren watched them silently with a straight face. What happened now?

"Samus can't take her helmet off." Captain Falcon said to the Hylian and mercenary. "I tried to help her, but it's really stuck!"

"Let me try." Ike said. The bluenette took Samus's helmet and tried to pull it off. It was as futile as Captain Falcon's great effort.

"Whoa, it's stuck!" Link cried out. "I don't think I can take it out by myself!"

"Let's try together!" Captain Falcon shouted.

Captain Falcon, Ike, and Link all grabbed Samus's armor helmet and pulled with all of their might. Even though it has only been a few seconds, the men's arms began to feel tired and strained. Samus could only helplessly stand still, waiting for her helmet to pop off. Darn it... It's really that stuck! By the time Captain Falcon, Ike, and Link will manage to pry her Helmet off, her coffee will be as cold as ice!

As the three brawlers were trying in vain to pry Samus's helmet off her power suit, they did not notice Yoshi entering the scene. The green dinosaur's blue eyes were filled with the will to help. They really can't get that helmet off... Maybe he could help! His long tongue might do the trick!

Yoshi suddenly lashed his tongue at Samus's helmet. Startled, Captain Falcon, Ike, and Link immediately ducked down and watched the dinosaur's tongue wrap around the orange helmet. Samus did not see that coming. With a shocked yell, she accidentally pulled one of her cannon's trigger, which fired a electric ball of sparks _directly _at Captain Falcon. The racer remembered how painful it was to get hit by one of Samus's attacks, so he instantly jumped back to dodge the attack. Unfortunately, he leapt a tad too far back and crashed through a window.

Snake was sitting in a comfortable armchair, which was right next to the window. He kept his bored, tired eyes on the television as he flipped through the channels, unaware of what was happening outside. He had an exhausting day and it was finally time for him to relax.

All of a sudden, there was a shattering crash. Snake's head jerked up in surprise and saw Captain Falcon clumsily leap through the broken window— directly into Snake's lap. Snake screamed like a girl, shoved Captain Falcon off his lap, and hurriedly scurried off like a mouse. He was completely shocked and traumatized. First, he was just relaxing and browsing through the TV channels and suddenly, some guy crashed through the window and landed into his lap! What does he want?! Whatever it was, it completely ruined Snake's peaceful moment.

* * *

Roy had just fixed Eliwood's laptop when Marth came dashing into his room with Ness's notepad and Toon's phone. "Roi-kun! I just got today's report!"

"What is it about?" Roy asked. Marth gave him the notepad and the redhead quickly skimmed through it. He smirked a bit. "Alright, it is funny but really humiliating." Roy said, returning to his blank facial expression. "And also, I don't think Captain Falcon and Snake gave the kids permission to do that report." Roy paused for a bit. "Besides, how did you get the report?"

"The computer got really, really bad virus!" Marth beamed brightly. "So I offered to type the report for them. Is the laptop fixed?"

"Yeah!" Roy exclaimed with a grin. "C'mon, let's start on the article!"

Roy went on the typing program and looked up at Marth with a smile. He was waiting for Marth to tell him what to type. The redheaded lord's smile fell when he saw the blue-haired prince looked down uneasily.

"What's wrong?" Roy asked worriedly.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Marth replied softly. "It's nice to tell the truth and not and make everyone feel embarrassed but..."

"But what?"

"...We're changing the stories and not making it funny! We're not giving the readers what they want!" Marth concluded.

"If they don't like it, that's their problem!" Roy responded. "Like Dad always say, it's always better to tell the truth than lying!"

"O-Ok, I agree with you." Marth sighed with a calm smile. Suddenly, something violently hit him. "Oh Roy, I don't know what actually happened between Snake and Captain Falcon! I was not at the scene!"

"Don't worry!" Roy confidently said. "I heard the commotion outside! I know what happened! Samus's helmet got stuck. Ike, Captain Falcon, and Link tried to pull it out. Yoshi tried to help but he made Samus accidentally fire an attack at Captain Falcon. Captain Falcon dodged her attack but accidentally jumped through a window and landed on Snake." Marth gave Roy a strange look. "I know, you think you're not needed because I know the whole story. But, I'm not a good writer. I need someone to tell me what to write."

"I understand." Marth replied. He took a quick look at the wall clock. "Let's get started! Dedede won't wait for us!"

* * *

Snake was hiding under his cardboard box, too embarrassed to come out. Did everyone n the mansion heard his high-pitched, girly scream? Probably, much to spy solider's anguish.

Snake heard footsteps coming towards him. He peeked out of his box and saw Captain Falco looking at him with a worried facial expression. The newspaper was clutched tightly in his hands. "Hey, are you alright?"

"No." Snake coldly answered. "Thanks to you."

"Look, I'm sorry. It was an accident." the racer explained.

"I think our 'little' incident is written on the newspaper." Snake replied in a gruff voice.

"No, it isn't!" Captain Falcon beamed brightly. Snake's jaw dropped slightly and he got out of his cardboard box. "If you don't believe me, here's the paper!"

Captain Falcon handed Snake his copy of the newspaper and the solider began to quickly read it. There was nothing mentioned in the article about Captain Falcon landing in Snake's lap and his girly scream, much to Snake's pleasure.

"That's nice to know." Snake smiled as he gave the racer his newspaper. "Did Samus ever get her helmet off?"

"Don't worry, she did!" Captain Falcon coolly answered. "Fox and Falco took care of everything! C'mon, let's get some soda and coffee. If anyone makes fun of ya, I'll handle them!"

No one was humiliated that day.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Snake? SNAKE?! SNAAAAKE!**

**I can't believe I managed to finish chapter 13 this fast! Well I have to admit, it's not one of my funniest chapters but I hope this made you smile. (At least!) Also, I think we have about 6 characters left to be mentioned in the newspaper. They are: Kirby, Meta Knight, Ice Climbers, ROB, Mr. Game & Watch, and Marth. (Yes, Toon, Lucas, Ness, and Dedede are the only ones who aren't going to get humiliated.) Just to mention, one of them is being saved for last. **

**Story Questions:**

**Out of all six characters (Kirby, Meta Knight, Ice Climbers, ROB, Mr. Game & Watch, Marth), who would you like to see next? Any ideas? (I'm having trouble with some of the characters.)**

**Should any more characters help Marth and Roy in their editing plan? (Can be another SSBB character or visitor.) **

**Sooner or later, Marth and Roy will be caught editing the gossip articles. Any ideas on how should they be caught?**

****I don't own SSBB. If I did, then Roy would still be a playable character. **


	14. Chapter 14: The Falling World

Meta Knight was taking a nap in his room. After a having a violent match with Diddy Kong, Wario, and Luigi, he needed to rejuvenate his exhausted little body. It was very uncomfortable for him to sleep with all of his armor on, so he took off his shoulder armor, cape, and precious mask.

Kirby curiously peered into Meta Knight's room and spotted his mentor sleeping on his bed. The pink puffball was about to skip towards him and wake him up when he spotted Meta Knight's armor, cape, and mask sitting on his desk. With a soft "Pyroo!", Kirby jumped onto the desk and dressed himself in the blue puffball's equipment. He always wondered how it was to be Meta Knight for a day.

When Meta Knight woke up, the first thing he noticed was his student hurrying out of his room dressed in his gear. His little heart jumped and his yellow eyes turned red in anguish. Oh no! Kirby was known for his notorious appetite and clumsiness. If the others caught Kirby doing his daily activities in Meta Knight's belongings, they might assume that Meta Knight's the one doing it!

"Kirby!" Meta Knight yelled, jumping off his bed. He began to scurry after his student. "Come back here!"

Roy was sitting in the library with nothing to do. With a sigh, he impatiently skimmed through a thick-covered book. He didn't feel like reading.

Meta Knight's shouting caught Roy's attention. With a curious look, Roy dumped the book on the ground and saw Meta Knight chase Kirby down the hallway. He was stunned to see Meta Knight without his mask on. The blue puffball looked exactly like Kirby! Roy wondered what Kirby was up to and decided to follow the two puffballs.

The two puffballs ran into the foyer, where the expensive chandelier hung. It was made of hundreds of fake diamonds and bronze. Its candles weren't lit. Kirby's tiny feet began to feel tired. With an exhausted huff for air, he looked behind him and saw Meta Knight gaining on him. Oh no, he was catching up! Wait, Meta Knight's cape can turn into wings!

Kirby used all of his strength to hop in the air. The cape instantly turned into bat wings and the pink puffball skyrocketed up the ceiling. Meta Knight came to an abrupt halt and gasped in horror. Kirby did not know how to fly with those wings!

"Kirby!" he shouted. "Look out!"

It was too late. Kirby collided headfirst into the chandelier and began to plummet to the ground. Luckily, Meta Knight caught him. The chandelier began to hazardously swing.

"Let's run!" Meta Knight took Kirby's tiny hand and the two puffballs hurried out of the foyer.

At that moment, Mr. Game & Watch and ROB stepped into the foyer. They saw the swinging chandelier. Wanting to prevent it from falling, ROB escalated to the ceiling by using its rockets. However, it zoomed up a bit too quickly and violently struck the chandelier. The sudden force was enough to make it fall from the ceiling.

Roy was hurrying down the hallway to the foyer when he saw Meta Knight and Kirby scurry pass him. Their eyes were wide with fear. Roy stopped and watched the two hurry away, wondering what scared him.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash. Fearing that someone has gotten hurt, Roy hurried into the foyer and saw the broken chandelier shattered on the ground. Its decorative fake diamonds piled on the unconscious ROB and Mr. Game & Watch. ROB had painful electrical sparks flickering on its body. Black 2D birds were spinning around Mr. Game & Watch's head.

"Oh no..." Roy said to himself in panic. Without wasting a single minute, the redhead immediately ran for the medic.

* * *

Ness, Lucas, and Toon were having a discussion involving the recent reports with Dedede. The giant penguin was miffed because the articles weren't juicy. After hours of trial and error, the Waddle Dees managed to fix the computer.

"I don't know about you kids, but your reports are starting to get boring!" Dedede complained.

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked frightfully.

"Yeah!" Ness added, his voice rising.

"Look at yesterday's paper!" Dedede handed the kids an extra newspaper.

Toon skimmed through it and gasped in terror. "What the— The paper didn't say anything about Snake and Captain Falcon! It was just talking about the problem with glitches in technology and Samus's situation! Someone edited it!"

Ness angrily clutched his fists. "Marth must've changed it! Ever since the computer broke, we let him type the reports! I knew he was up to something!"

"He didn't seem to like our reports." Lucas softly spoke up.

"But, he can't be the only culprit!" Toon said. He began to ponder. "The first article he edited had many spelling errors. Someone else must've helped him!"

Something clicked in Lucas's brain. "Roy must've helped him! He's a close friend of Marth and can understand both English and Japanese!"

"I bet our readers are losing interest in our reports!" Ness said, feeling furious. "If this keeps up, they will stop reading the paper!"

"Dedede, you need to fire Marth, so he can't work in the paper!" Toon cried out.

Dedede smiled naughtily. "Don't worry, I will. But that's not it!"

"What are you going to do?" Lucas softly asked. He did not like the sound of Dedede's voice.

"We need to write a report explaining to our readers why are articles are less juicy!" Dedede explained.

The kids figured out what was Dedede talking about. "I get it! I'll find some pictures right now!" Toon said, hurrying out of the printing room.

Ness gave his notepad to a Waddle Dee. "Here's today's report. Just to let you know, we're writing another one!"

"I'll wait for Toon to return with the pictures!" Lucas said, smiling anxiously.

* * *

Marth and Roy were hurrying to the printing room. They wanted to make sure that ROB and Mr. Game & Watch were alright. Luckily, the two recovered their consciousness and were back on their feet in no time. However, this made Marth late for his work. Roy decided to come with him, so he could defend Marth in case Dedede was upset at him.

"Let's hurry, Marth!" Roy quickly said. "By now, we should be starting today's report!"

"H-Hai!" Marth shakily replied.

The two Fire Emblem characters rushed into the printing room. To their horror, they saw the Waddle Dees stacking freshly-printed newspapers on the table. No, the computer must've been fixed! Ness, Lucas, and Toon sat at a table, resentfully not making eye contact with them. Dedede sat at his desk with a wicked smile, which sent a shiver down Marth's spine.

"You're late to work, Marth." Dedede said.

"I sorry!" Marth quickly apologized, failing to hide his nervousness behind his weak smile.

"Luckily, the computer is fixed." Dedede continued. "The newspaper will be delivered in time."

"That's good." Marth replied, trying to calm down.

"Oh yes, I've notice that the last three articles did not match Lucas's and Ness's rough drafts." Dedede added. Roy's navy blue eyes widened a bit. Oh no, how did they find out?! "Especially the first one. That one has lots of spelling and grammar errors!"

"Uso da." Marth hissed under his breath in his native language.

"What did you say?" Dedede asked, making Marth feel uneasy.

"THAT'S A LIE!" Marth furiously barked in English.

Dedede threw a newspaper page and Lucas's notepad at Marth's feet. The prince began to skim through it. No, he can't lie to flee from this situation! The evidence was set in stone! "No, it isn't." Dedede replied arrogantly. "The truth is always written in the paper! Because you edited the reports, you've basically wrote lies."

Roy's eyes widened in fury and he gnashed his teeth. "You're the one who is lying!" he protested. "I saw the truth happen in front of my eyes! The articles are just exaggerated gossip!"

"The readers love it!" Ness retorted.

"We always give them what they want to see." Toon added with a scowl. Lucas could only look down at the table with a guilty gleam in his eyes.

"Marth, you're fired!" Dedede shouted ferociously at the poor bluenette.

Marth only helplessly looked down at the floor. He began to weep. So... This was what he got for trying to be positive and tell the truth... Roy gave his best friend a huge hug and glared sharply at Dedede.

"You're the one who should be fired!" Roy protested. "You are a terrible editor!"

"No one has authority over me!" Dedede smirked back. "Oh yes, the paper has an exclusive edition!"

Dedede threw today's newspaper at Roy, who caught it like a football. Roy and Marth began to skim through it. Alright... Here's the fallen chandelier report. It looked like Kirby's and Meta Knight's reputation had been ruined... The two Fire Emblem characters flipped the page and gasped in horror. No, it was an article about them! But, some of the facts weren't true!

"Iya..." Marth gasped. "N-No! No! This not true!"

"Where the heck did you get that picture of me?!" Roy screamed in horror. He glowered at Dedede, his enraged eyes as wide as saucers. His mature lord attitude overcame his rowdy teenage personality, just like Marth's princely attitude. "As future Lord of the Pherae family, I order you to scrap the newspaper article!"

Dedede mockingly laughed at Roy's strict order. "You are so stupid, Roy! Don't you know that your status doesn't really matter in the Smash Mansion?"

"Yes." Roy replied bluntly. "I'm not afraid to show it."

"It's useless." Dedede replied cockily. He turned to the Waddle Dees. "Deliver the newspapers right now!" he ordered.

The Waddle Dees took the copies of the newspaper and hurried out of the printing room. Marth shouted, "Yamete!" and tried to stop the henchmen, only to be restricted by Roy.

"We can't do anything about it." Roy sadly whispered. Marth sighed hopelessly.

"If you guys think that you can just interfere with our reports, we'll just write another article about you two!" Dedede said cruelly.

Roy unhappily looked at Marth with a soft sigh. "Marth, let's hide in my room." he whispered.

The two Fire Emblem characters hurried out the printing room before anyone could see them.

* * *

Ike, Link, and Pit were sitting in the cafeteria, reading the newspapers. Their surrounding friends Fox and Falco were reading the first page with a straight face. However, when they flipped to the next page they began to laugh hysterically.

"This article isn't really funny..." Ike whispered. He was reading the article about the chandelier incident. "I feel sorry for ROB and Mr. Game & Watch..."

"I saw Kirby and Meta Knight." Link added. "They were fixing the chandelier."

"I wonder where's Marth and Roy..." Ike said out loud.

Pit took a sip of ice water and turned the page at the same time. He suddenly spit out the water and began to laugh hysterically at the embarrassing report.

"What's so funny, Pit?" Link asked, turning the page. He looked and gasped, trying to hold in his laughter. No, he shouldn't laugh at this! This is defiantly offensive to the person!

Ike did the same and quickly skimmed through the second article. "What the—?!" he started in shock.

"Oh Hylia..." Link said bewilderedly. "Is that—?"

"Y-Yeah!" Pit managed to choke out, trying to stop laughing. "It's actually them!"

* * *

**Author's Notes: What goes around comes around? **

**For this chapter, I decided to make the "humiliating" report less humorous and more serious. Also I was about to save Marth's humiliating moment for the climax, however my creativity threw a curve ball at me. The Ice Climbers may be the last characters to be humiliated. So Marth's embarrassing moment will definitely be in the next chapter. **

**Story Questions: **

**Do you think the article about the chandelier incident is offensive to Kirby and Meta Knight? **

**If you were Roy, would you use your status as a future lord to stop an embarrassing newspaper article from being published? **

**Why do you think the brawlers' social statuses don't matter in the Smash Mansion?**

**What do you think the second gossip article was about? **

**Had you ever try to make a situation better, only to have the whole world turn against you? **

****I don't own SSBB**


	15. Chapter 15: Ignorance for Revenge

Link and Ike awkwardly gazed at the three pictures of Marth and Roy. One of them was an old, gray photograph of an annoyed one-year-old Roy, who was trying effortfully (Stupidly in terms of Ike!) to force a triangular-shaped block in a wooden circular hole. Frustration shined in his huge blue eyes. Another old picture showed Marth as a toddler walking around dressed in his older sister Elice's dress, which were way too big for him. Strangely, he looked like he was enjoying it. The last third picture showed Marth and Roy trying to push the convenience store's door open, even though there was sign clearly saying "pull". The title of the article was "Marth and Roy: Not as Smart as you Think!"

"What is this?!" Ike exclaimed in shock. He began to read the article out loud so Pit and Link could hear. "Although Marth and Roy are talented in tactics and can solve complicated math problems, they are so intelligent that they lost their common knowledge."

Pit stopped laughing. "What?! If they didn't have common knowledge, then how the heck do they defend themselves and their army from their enemies? Fighting is common knowledge, isn't it?"

"Fox and Falco, stop laughing." Link ordered, glaring at the Canidae and avian. The two partners obeyed. "If you were in Marth's and Roy's shoes, how would you feel?"

Fox guiltily looked down. "We didn't really think of that. Personally, I would feel embarrassed."

"Me too." Falco agreed.

"For example, although he excels in Japanese, Marth is absolutely terrible in writing, understanding, and speaking English." Ike continued, his cobalt eyes beginning to widen in fury. "A perfect piece of evidence is, recently he was asked to type one of our articles. Instead of typing the original report, he thought we (The journalists) asked him to change it! The results were terrible. The finished article was piled with misspelled words, confusing grammar errors, and a unreliable source of information. This doesn't make sense! English is absolutely easy to learn!"

Link growled under his breath. The Hylian's pointy ears perked up in anger. "Who ever said that?!" he hissed furiously. "Learning a new language is difficult!"

"Another good example is, it actually took Roy four years to realize that it is impossible to put a triangular-shaped block in a circular hole, as shown in this picture." Ike faced palmed. Did the journalists actually asked Eliwood about Roy as a toddler? "This is trash!" the mercenary shouted. "I have to admit, it is kinda addicting to read, but this sounds ridiculous! Who wrote this?!"

Link had an idea on who was the terrible writer and rose from his seat. "Where are you going, Link?" Pit asked.

"Oh, nothing." Link answered with a fake grin. "I just need to get something." The Hylian left the cafeteria.

* * *

Toon was alone in his room when all of a sudden, Link violently stomped in and angrily glared at him. His hands were on his hips. Toon uneasily looked into his callous azure eyes, which were usually filled with tranquility. Then the younger Hylian looked at the older Hylian's ears, indicating that he was livid at something.

"What's wrong, Link?" Toon softly asked.

"I'm disappointed in you." Link said in a cold tone. "I read today's article. I can't believe you actually wrote about these terrible things about Roy and Marth!"

"But, Ness and Lucas were the writers." Toon spoke up, a bit scared. "I took all the pictures."

"So what?!" Link suddenly exploded his anger on Toon. "You helped them with the article, which is probably filled with lies! You interfered with Roy's and Marth's privacy! And you three get paid for writing this kind of trash!"

"Link, please listen!" Toon piped up shakily. "We're close to getting the Wii U! Really! Just one or two more articles! It won't do any more harm!"

Link's facial expression softened as he calmed down. He kneeled down next to Toon and asked, "Marth and Roy are your friends, right?"

"Y-Yeah." Toon answered nervously.

"Do you think you should get paid for humiliating them?"

"Maybe... no." Toon said. He suddenly remembered something and began to weep quietly. "L-Link, do you remember the article about you and Zelda? One of the articles that Marth and Roy edited?"

"Yes?" Link asked.

"I didn't really want to publish the original report!" Toon explained through his tears. "But, I needed to because I needed to give the readers what they want!"

Link gave Toon a small hug. "Look, Toon. Although made-up gossip is much interesting than actual news, I prefer reading about the truth. It's honest. Can you try to convince Ness and Lucas to stop making up lies?"

"I'll try." Toon smiled at his older brother. "But, we need to convince Dedede to stop! He's actually forcing us to write gossip!"

Link playfully ruffled Toon's fluffy blond hair. "Why don't you, Ness, and Lucas ask Dedede to stop? If that doesn't work, I'm going to find Time and the other cousins. We'll come up with a plan."

* * *

Ness and Lucas were lounging in the foyer when Toon approached them.

"What is it?" Ness asked. "Did you find something interesting to write about?"

"No." Toon answered. "Look guys, we need to stop writing these gossip articles. They are insulting to others!"

"I agree." Lucas quietly spoke up. "'Claus' was telling me I should stop."

"Now that I think about it, our reports can be really harsh." Ness stated. "The truth seems much... How should I describe this...?"

"Better?" Lucas suggested.

"Yeah!" Ness agreed with a thumb up.

"Let's tell Dedede that if we can't write reports based on actual news, then we quit!" Toon said with an encouraging smile.

The three kids hurried to the printing room. There, Dedede was sitting at his desk, like if he hadn't moved at all. The Waddle Dees were gone; they were probably having a short break.

"Hey fellas, did you write a juicy report?" Dedede asked eagerly.

"Yes." Ness answered in a sarcastic tone. "It's called, 'We Want to Stop Writing Gossip about Other People."

"Look," Toon began sternly. "if you won't allow us to write actual news on facts, we will quit!"

Fine, fine." Dedede replied in a mocking tone. "Luckily, I just got an interesting report! Do you know what it is?"

"W-What?" Lucas nervously asked. He hated the sound of this.

"If you kids quit, there will be an article about who was writing all of these silly gossip." Dedede said with a sneaky grin. "There may be some people who are angry at you guys. Who knows? They might join together and chase you guys out of the mansion with torches and pitchforks!"

Toon, Lucas, and Ness stayed quietly, nothing knowing what to do next. Great, if they tried to quit, Dedede would spill the beans and tell everyone who was writing these humiliating reports about them!

"Fine, we won't quit." Ness spoke in defense. "When do we get paid anyway?"

"Er, I don't know." Dedede answered smugly. "Next month?"

"What?!" Toon exclaimed in shock. "But we've been working here for almost a month!"

"Look, I pay whenever I want to pay!" Dedede retorted. "And if you whine about it to the other brawlers, you have something coming after you!"

The three kids sighed miserably and left the printing room. They regretted volunteering in the newspaper in the first place. What good did it do, if they tried to give their readers what they want, only to not get paid? Their situation was like quicksand. No matter how hard they tried to get out, they wold sink deeper and deeper into the problem.

* * *

Eliwood was sitting outside in the backyard by himself. He was wondering where was Roy and his friends. Did they run off to the café? Were they loitering in the convenience store?

The Ice Climbers approached him. "Mr. Eliwood, we have a question." Nana spoke up, fidgeting with the newspaper in her hands.

"Yes, what is it?" Eliwood gently asked.

"Is it true that it took Roy four years to know it's impossible to put a triangular block in a circular hole?" Popo asked.

"No, it isn't." Eliwood answered, trying to hold in his laughter. That sounded ridiculous. "It only took Roy one second. Why do you ask?"

"We saw this article about him and Marth." Nana answered.

"Can I ask you two one thing?" Eliwood asked.

"Yes?" Popo responded.

"What was that article about?"

"Well..." Nana uneasily answered, fearing the lord's fury. "It's about how Marth and Roy aren't as smart as they seem."

"Rumors say that Marth and Roy didn't like the newspapers' gossip and tried to stop it." Popo added. "Dedede purposely wrote a humiliating article to get back at them."

"I see..." Eliwood got an idea why did Roy vanish all of a sudden.

* * *

Roy and Marth had been hiding out in Roy's room for the rest of the day. To pass the time that seemed like years, they watched anime on YouTube on Eliwood's laptop. (Roy "burrowed" it.) They tried to forget the fact that their dignity had just been thrown out the window into the trash can, however they could not get that fact out of their mind.

Roy heard hysterical laughter and he looked out the open window at the backward. He saw Ganondorf, Bowser, and Wario sneering at the humiliating newspaper article. Marth, who was lying on Roy's bed, sighed unhappily and curled into a ball.

"Roi-kun, am I stupid?" he asked.

"Don't say that!" Roy exclaimed loudly, causing Marth to jump and flinch. "You're not stupid! If you were, then you wouldn't have reclaimed Altea!"

"Arigatou." Marth replied. Although his expressionless face turned into a smile, it fell after a second.

Although he kept a calm facial expression, Roy was furiously burning in the inside. Dedede and his journalists really destroyed Marth's self-esteem and ego! He turned to the laptop and continued watching the presented anime. It was about a teenage boy who did everything to protect an innocent little girl, who was being abused by her uncle.

As Roy watched the anime, he began to feel that if he and Marth were characters in the anime he would have the boy's role and Marth would have the girl's role. In the Melee Tournament whenever Marth was bullied by either Bowser or Ganondorf, Roy would defend him no matter what. The redheaded lord hated seeing his friends being harassed.

A bright idea lit in Roy's head. That was it! Tonight, he would stop Dedede's newspaper forever! But, was it worth it? If he was caught carrying out his plan, he would get into huge trouble! But then again, this can't go on! People's reputations and dignities were being marred! Someone needed to put an end to this! Roy couldn't wait for someone else to so it for him! He needed to take action as soon as possible!

That night, Roy began his plan. After pretending to fall asleep in front of Marth and waiting for the prince to doze off, he snuck out of his room towards the printing room. The hallways and rooms were as black as night. Nightlights and furniture formed eerie shadows on the walls. The only sounds heard were loud sighing, snoring, and mumbling. Like a ninja, Roy tip-toed down the stairs into the foyer, towards the printing room.

Roy cautiously opened the door and snuck into the room. He did not turn on the lights; he was afraid that someone would suspect something awful is happening. Although the only source of light was a nightlight, Roy could see the stack of blank papers sitting on a table, the computer which was recently fixed, black ink for the printers resting on Dedede's desk, and the three still printers.

With an unusual sadistic grin, Roy reached into his pajama pants' pocket and took out a box of matches. He crept towards the stack of papers and lit a match. The small orange flame flickered ghostly on the match, turning the redheaded lord's vengeful blue eyes hazel. This was it! He would burn the papers into useless ashes, rip out the computer's prized hard drives and wires, spill ink all over that dreadful Dedede's expensive desk, and jam the printers with glue! That way, the newspapers couldn't be published for the time being!

Roy was about to ignite the papers with fire when all of a sudden, the lights flashed on like lightning. Startled, he blew out the match and froze like if he was a stature. Great, he's up to his neck in boiling hot water now!

* * *

**Author's Notes: Guess what guys! It's not a yaoi picture! *Gets creamed with rotten vegetables* Admit it, we once tried to pull/push a door open and you then see a sign that says push/pull!**

**I'm happy to announce that I'm on summer break! This means, I can (try to) spend lots of time on my fanfics and other stuff! Woohoo! After one, two, or three more chapters, this fanfic will be finished, which means I can get started on my Runaway Marth story! **

**Story Questions: **

**On a scale to 1 to 5, how insulting was the article about Marth and Roy? **

**How would you convince Dedede to stop writing gossip? **

**If you were Roy, how would you sabotage the supplies?**

**(SPOILER QUESTION) Who do you think caught Roy in the printing room? (I'm feeling nice, so I'll give you an obvious hint: he's related to Roy.) **

**(You don't need to answer this): What anime did Roy and Marth watch? **


	16. Chapter 16: The Bush

Roy looked down at the floor, afraid to look up. Who came in? What should he say? Should he say he accidentally sleepwalked into the printing room and lit a match? The redhead cringed as he heard footsteps approach him.

"Roy, look at me." he heard his father sternly say. Roy shakily looked up. A pair of nervous blue eyes met identical stern eyes.

"It isn't what it looks like!" Roy began to stutter. He quickly thought of a lie. "I-I was s-s-sleepwalking and I accidentally l-lit a match!" Eliwood rose an eyebrow in doubt. Roy looked back with wide puppy eyes, begging for mercy. "I'm not lying!"

"Yes you are." Eliwood replied with a slight smile. "Don't try to fool your father. He knows everything about you. When you're lying, you begin to stutter." The current Marquess of Pherae's smile fell and returned to its cold gaze.

Roy sighed in defeat. There's no other way to escape. "Dad, I'm sorry. I need to do this! It's the only way to—"

All of a sudden, Eliwood lightly slapped his son on the face and tightly took him by the hand. Roy flinched in fright. The last time his father hit him was when he was only five years old. "Come with me." Eliwood strictly ordered. The anxious Roy obeyed, fearing the appalling consequence.

"Y-Yes, f-father." Roy softly replied.

The two redheads went outside to the front yard and sat on the cool grass. The full moon gazed upon them. The crickets, which were hidden in the tall grass and bushes chirped noisily. Roy peered up at the dark sky and watched the silvery stars dance as Eliwood spoke to him.

"Roy, had you ever heard of the proverb 'If you poke a bush, eventually the snake comes out'?" Eliwood asked.

"No, I never heard about it." Roy replied. "What does it mean?"

"It means, if you keep on opposing someone continuously, they will notice and fight back." Eliwood explained. "Because you and Marth got in Dedede's way, he purposely humiliated you so you two would stop."

Roy nodded his head in understanding and joked, "Well, I guess the snake just chased me away and I came back to get revenge." Eliwood chuckled and smiled at his son, who guiltily looked down at his feet. "Dad, I'm really sorry. I thought if I destroyed all of the supplies, it will stop Dedede's newspaper! I was stupid... You know, the newspaper was right for once..."

Eliwood gave Roy a hug. "You are not stupid. You just couldn't think of a better way. Do you think purposely editing the reports is the only way?"

"Yeah, Marth and I are the only ones who found it insulting..." Roy replied. "Everyone else likes it for some reason."

Eliwood released Roy from his embrace. "That's not true! Earlier today, I saw Princess Elice and her friends blow a fuse over today's article. They found it offensive towards the Lowell Family. I don't like it either. The stories sound ridiculous. Lilina and Wolt mentioned that Ike, Link, and Pit were getting tired of reading the gossip articles."

"Really? But I see everyone read it every day!"

"The proverb 'If you poke a bush, eventually a snake comes out' has another meaning. It also means, you shouldn't think negatively on things."

Roy suddenly got an idea. "Dad, I think I know how to stop Dedede's newspaper!"

"What is it?" Eliwood questioned.

"Why don't we write a humiliating article about Dedede and try to publish it in the newspaper?" Roy mischievously suggested.

"You're poking the bush again." Eliwood warned.

"What about gathering everyone who's against the newspaper and protest?" Roy suggested again. "We'll force Dedede to shut it down for good!"

"You're not poking the bush; you're kicking it!" Eliwood mockingly warned again.

Roy huffed in frustration. Getting back at someone without kicking the bush too hard was difficult! "Well, I would tell Master and Crazy Hand but, from what I heard from Marth they actually enjoy reading the paper!"

"You really want to find that snake, do you?" Eliwood asked in a fake tone of curiosity.

After a few seconds, Roy finally got it. He shouldn't dig deep for the negatives! Instead, should try to look for the positives! "Maybe, we can just tell the Hands?"

"You finally decide to ignore the bush." Eliwood said with a smile. Roy grinned and gave him. a hug. He finally found a resolution to his conflict thanks to his father.

* * *

Toon was standing outside of Link's room. Due to the fact Dedede wouldn't let Lucas, Ness, and him stop writing gossip and quit, he could not sleep. The enormous penguin's words echoed in his mind like a broken record player.

The little Hylian wondered if he should talk to his older brother at this time. Usually, whoever woke Link in the middle of his nap would get an annoyed complaint in return. The fondness for sleeping runs in the bloodline of the Hero's Spirit however, Toon did not really like to sleep. He found it difficult to fall asleep.

Toon gathered all of his courage and quietly entered Link's room. It was completely dark. The nightlight, which looked like a blue fairy, and the moonlight shining through the window was the only source of light.

Link's bed was right next to the window. The moonlight shone on Link's peaceful sleeping face. The Hero of Twilight was covered in heavy bed sheets and sleeping on his right side. Toon carefully crept towards his bedside and gave him a small nudge on his shoulder.

"L-Link?" Toon quietly asked. Link only stretched his legs and sighed. Toon gently nudged him again. "Link, I really need to talk to you..."

Link's pointy ears twitched slightly as he stirred and awoke. "What is it?" he yawned, opening his heavy blue eyes.

"It has something to do with Dedede and the newspaper." Toon whispered. He climbed onto Link's bed.

"Let me guess, he did not want to stop the gossip articles." Link guessed, sitting up in his bed.

"Yeah..." Toon sadly replied. "Ness, Lucas, and I don't really know what to do... Any ideas? We can't tell the Hands. Rumor says that they enjoy reading these gossip articles!"

"You know, rumors aren't always true." Link said. "You, Lucas, and Ness can just tell the Hands that Dedede is publishing nasty gossip about everyone."

"But Dedede said if we mention anything about the articles to anyone, even the Hands, he will write a humiliating article about us being the writers of these reports!"

"Maybe it's time to admit the fact." Link replied with a soft smile. "That should relieve everyone's tension."

"What if the Hands actually like the gossip articles?" Toon piped up worriedly. "They wouldn't listen to us!"

"If that's the case, then we'll gather Roy and Marth and we will tell the Hands together. That should solve the problem!"

"That sounds like a great idea!" Toon quietly piped up. "When do we start?"

"Tomorrow." Link mischievously winked at his stunned little brother.

"WHAT?!" Toon quietly screamed under his breath. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah." Link answered with a smirk. "Don't you want to shut down the newspaper as soon as possible?"

"Y-Yes." Toon uneasily replied.

"Then we must start as soon as possible." Link said, shutting his heavy eyes. "Let's get some sleep. We need that energy for tomorrow!"

"Alright." Toon silently said. "Goodnight, Link." Link slightly shook his head as he fell back asleep.

As he silently walked down the hallways back to his room, Toon began to think nervously to himself. If he, Ness, Lucas, Marth, and Roy went to the Hands and ask them to shut down Dedede's newspaper, it may work. But he needed to confess that he and his two buddies were the ones writing these awful reports about the brawlers! How would everyone react? Will they hate them for the rest of their lives? Or will they accept their apology and never speak of this again? Toon forced a small, cheery smile. No, he shouldn't worry about this! What really counted was permanently stop Dedede's newspaper for good!

* * *

**Author's Note: Roy, why can't you just ask Link to borrow one of his bombs, leave it at the bush, and run away before it blows up? **

**This chapter would've been longer, but I decided to save the next events for the next chapter(s). Also, I really really really wanted to add a Roy and Eliwood moment and a Toon and Link moment. So sorry if this chapter isn't as funny as the others. xD I think this fanfic will be finished in at least one more chapter.**

**Story Question: **

**If Roy actually managed to destroy all of the supplies, what could've happened?**

**Any suggestions on what should happen in the next chapter?**

**(Sorry if I already asked this question already): How would you stop Dedede's newspaper? **


	17. Chapter 17: Burning the Bush

In the morning, the Ice Climbers went to the kitchen. They decided to make a humongous special breakfast for all of the brawlers out of kindness.

"I'll make the pancakes." Popo said to his twin sister. "You can make the bacon!"

"Alright!" Nana piped up with a sweet smile.

Popo hopped onto the kitchen counter and opened a cupboard to get the pancake mix. It was right behind the bottle of olive oil, vinegar, and baking soda. Out of laziness, Popo decided to try to get the pancake mix without taking out the oil, vinegar, and baking soda.

However, it was an unwise idea. As he was taking the pancake mix out, Popo accidentally knocked over the bottle of olive oil. It tipped over and poured slippery oil all over Popo and the kitchen counter. Trying to save the oil, Popo made a sudden movement, clumsily slipped on the spilled oil, and fell onto the ground. He also knocked over the box of baking soda and vinegar in the progress.

"Nana!" Popo exclaimed.

Nana, who was frying the bacon at the stove, turned around and gasped in fright. She watched the baking soda and vinegar mix together and turn into a fizzing solution. Popo, who was quickly getting up, shouted, "Quick, get a mop!"

"Alright!" The mop was right next to the refrigerator. In the hurry, Nana slipped on the oil puddle and crashed into Popo. With a frightened cry, the two Ice Climbers slide across the flat kitchen floor and collided with the refrigerator. "Ah! Are you ok?!" Nana asked panicky.

"Yeah." Popo started. He looked at stove and saw smoke sizzling from the bacon. "Er, Nana? I think you forgot to turn off the stove." All of a sudden, fire ignited from the bacon and began to engulf the stove. Completely petrified and unsure what to do, the Ice Climbers began to scream hysterically for help.

Ike was heading towards the kitchen for a small before-breakfast snack when he heard the Ice Climbers' shriek full of agony. Without wasting a single second, he slammed open the kitchen doors and saw the terrifying scene. The crackling fire was slowly eating away the cabinets, there were some fizzling white liquid spilled on the floor, and the Ice Climbers were crying uncontrollably.

"I got this, don't worry!" Ike quickly took a large bottle of water and poured it on the blazing fire immediately extinguishing it. "Is anyone alright?"

"Y-Yeah, we are." Popo shakily answered.

"That was scary!" Nana wailed childishly.

"Yeah, it was." Ike said. "Next time when you're cooking something in the kitchen, have an adult supervise you."

"T-Thank you, Ike!" Popo replied with a smile. He was still a bit jumpy.

"We'll clean up the mess." Nana said.

Ike softly grinned at the Ice Climbers. They were so sweet... He turned around to exit the kitchen when he saw a Waddle Dee with a camera scurry away. Thinking that he was seeing things, Ike raised an eyebrow and quickly walked out of the kitchen. No, his eyes weren't fooling him! The Waddle Dee was hurrying down the foyer towards the printing room. Ike followed it, feeling a bit curious and suspicious. What was it doing? Did it take a picture of the whole scene?

The bluenette sneakily crept towards the entrance and slightly opened the door. He saw the Waddle Dee give its camera to Dedede, who began to skim through the pictures.

"Perfect!" Dedede smirked. "Lucas, Ness, and Toon can make a great article with these pictures!"

Ike's cobalt eyes widened in shock. So, Ness, Lucas, and Toon were the ones writing these awful gossips about the brawlers! But, how could they do such a thing? Interested, Ike continued to listen.

"If these kids refuse to come up with a great report, not only are they not going to get paid, they will be fired and have a humiliating article written about them!" Ike heard Dedede's voice boom in stubbornness.

The bluenette gnarled his pointy teeth and clutched his fists in anger. So, Dedede is manipulating them! How terrible! He shouldn't do that! Ike hurried away before Dedede and his Waddle Dees noticed him snooping in their business. Admittedly, he was tempted to storm in and demand Dedede to stop the newspaper, but it was a rash action. Dedede would write an embarrassing report about him for vengeance!

Ike knew he needed to do something. He can't let Dedede let things go his way! He needed to tell everyone the truth! But if he did it by speaking, no one would believe him! Also, it is not an amount of time before everyone gets their hands on Dedede's papers, which was usually around noon or afternoon! Ike desperately needed to type a quick report! But how? Being a mercenary who had a bit of education, he could read however his spelling was very poor. He needed some help! Alas, he doesn't want to let everyone know what was he trying to do... Lost in thought, Ike was hastily pacing down the hallways and accidentally collided with Lucina and Owain.

"Ahh!" As she fell, Lucina dropped a white paper with millions of words written on it.

"S-Sorry." Ike nervously apologized. He eyed the paper. "Err, what's this?"

Owain quickly picked up the report before Ike had the chance to move. "Don't mind us. If we told thou these colorful words on this paper, thou would avoid us like the plague."

"Owain, you're making him suspicious!" Lucina hissed. Her cousin really needed to know when to keep his mouth shut!

"Let me guess, it's about me." Ike bluntly said, raising an eyebrow in doubt.

"No, no!" Owain exclaimed, hoping not to upset the suspicious mercenary. "Us writing stories about you is like the sky raining diamonds!"

"Fine, we'll tell you." Lucina spoke up with a sigh. "The report is about Dedede. He has been writing gossip about the brawlers. Most of them weren't true! We were thinking of sneaking into the printing room, quickly type the report, and publish it. We were trying to avoid everyone else because, it seemed that they love to read that garbage. If they find out we are against Dedede's paper, then—"

Ike interrupted Lucina. "Well, I would be glad to help you."

Owain's and Lucina's eyes widened in bewilderment. "You would?" Owain asked to be sure.

"Yeah!" Ike answered with a grin. "Dedede's paper is really offensive. They once wrote a report about me. It was terrible!"

"They?" Lucina's voice rose in curiosity. "As in, Dedede and his Waddle Dees?"

"No." Ike replied. "Dedede just bosses his Waddle Dees around. The actual journalists are…"

* * *

Later in the morning, Ness, Lucas, Toon, and Link gathered in front of the Hands' office.

"Guys, are you ready?" Link asked the three nervous kids.

"Maybe... No." Lucas quietly answered.

"I want to do this tomorrow but, we can't!" Ness said, trying to stir some determination.

"Yeah!" Toon piped up. He began to smile. "Tomorrow is too late!"

"Kids, if something happens, I'll be there to deal with it, got it?" Link asked with a wink.

"Ok, then..." Lucas said, forcing a brave facial expression. "Let's do this!"

The two Hylians and boys entered the Hands' office. To their surprise, they found Roy and Martale starting a conversation with the two giant hands. The two swordsmen turned around and saw Link, Toon, Ness, and Lucas approach them.

"Oh, you guys are in a conversation?" Link asked sheepishly. "Sorry for interrupting..."

"Hey Marth and Roy!" Lucas cheerfully greeted the two Fire Emblem characters, trying to ease his nervousness.

"Konichiwa..." Marth replied softly, looking down at the floor.

Roy glowered angrily at Toon, Lucas, and Ness. "Oh, it's you guys." he coldly said. "What is it?" Link and the three kids jumped. Roy had never spoken in that heartless tone of voice.

Marth lightly slapped Roy on his shoulder. "Yame, Roi-kun." he whispered in his native language.

"Do you need anything?" Master Hand asked the three kids. "Don't worry, we were just starting a conversation. You didn't interrupt us."

"Yeah." Ness started. He unhappily looked down at the floor along with his friends. "We just want to say that we were the ones writing these gossip articles."

"You may enjoy reading them, but they are very offensive towards the brawlers." Lucas continued quietly, hoping not to upset the hands. "Most of the articles were made up. They weren't telling the truth."

"Dedede is the one running the newspaper." Toon explained. "At first, we worked for him because we really wanted to earn money to buy a Wii U. Although we wanted to write actual news, we continued to write gossip because Dedede and our readers were pressuring us to do so."

Lucas unsteadily looked up at Marth and Roy. "Marth and Roy, we are really sorry for writing gossip about you. You guys aren't stupid. I wouldn't blame you if you never talked to us again."

"Yeah..." Ness and Toon unhappily said at the same time.

Roy's harsh glare softened. He kneeled down in front of the kids and said, "I forgive you. I'm proud of you three for admitting your mistakes." Marth nodded his head yes with a smile. Looking at the kids with a glad gleam in his eyes, Roy gave them a huge hug.

"Is that what you were going to talk about, Roy?" Crazy Hand asked. "Dedede's newspaper?"

"Yes!" Roy replied happily.

"What are you going to do with Dedede now?" Link asked.

Before either of the Hands could say anything, they heard an excited commotion outside in the foyer. "What's going on?" Master Hand asked.

The two Hands quickly drifted out of their office, followed by the brawlers. There, they saw an antsy crowd of brawlers and visitors surrounding the printing room. Elice, Ceada, and Merric were violently pounding on the locked door, trying in vain to knock it down. Chrom, Frederick, and Emmeryn, were waiting for the perfect time to dash into the printing room. Lissa and Henry were armed with pitchforks and blazing torches. While Red was trying to call all of his agitated Pokemon back into their Pokèballs, Lucario was trying to force the door open with his psychic powers. Ganondorf wanted to stomp towards the door, brutally kick the door open, and lividly yell at Dedede however, he was blocked by Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong. Mario and Luigi were about to eat some spicy curry, so they could burn down the door like Charizard.

Yet, not everyone was enraged. Several brawlers and visitors were standing in the sidelines, helplessly watching the rowdy commotion. Time and the rest of Link's cousins were covering their sensitive ears. They hated loud noises. Princess Zelda, Lady Palutena, and Princess Peach were trying to speak over the crowd and order them to stop. Sadly, no one could hear their soft voices. Mist, Rolf, Soren, and Mia were nervously standing behind the protective Oscar and Titania. Rhys, who was awfully stressed out by the bickering commotion, anxiously stood by Titania's side. Boyd, Gatrie, and Shinion were debating with themselves whether they should join the riot. The Ice Climbers were crying hysterically. Fox and Falco were trying to look for the other Star Fox Team members. Eliwood, Lilina, Wolt, and Marcus were trying to get as far from the commotion as possible.

Lucas, Toon, and Ness spotted Pit, Ike, Owain, and Lucina standing along the sidelines with some of the visitors. They scurried towards them and asked, "What happened?"

"Ike, Owain, and I wrote an article about Dedede writing terrible gossip about the brawlers." Lucina explained with a guilty gleam in her dark blue eyes. "We managed to publish it."

"We thought it was a good idea to stop the newspaper." Ike continued sadly. "Well, it did work, but not how we wanted it to be!"

"O, it is revealed that we bit off more than we could chew." Owain spoke emotionlessly. "Now, Dedede is a kitten in a dog kennel!"

"The good thing is, everyone now knows that you guys were manipulated by Dedede." Pit said, forcing a smile. "So, they aren't angry at you."

Roy stood by Link and Marth and watched the commotion carry out. He was glad that he listened to his father's advice. This wasn't kicking the bush; this was beating the bush with a large shovel!

"Everyone!" Master Hand boomed loudly. The crowd stopped shouting and looked at the stern floating hand. "I order you to calm down! Crazy Hand and I will settle this situation!"

The crowd let Master Hand and Crazy Hand through. Although the door was locked, Master Hand managed to flick it open using his index finger. The two hands floated in and brought out Dedede, who was still startled by the angry mob.

"Dedede, tell the crowd that you're sorry and you'll stop your newspaper." Crazy Hand hissed in Dedede's ears.

"E-Everyone!" Dedede nervously shouted out. "I'm sorry for writing all of these horrible gossips! I promise to stop!" Some of the brawlers and visitors shot Dedede a distrustful glare. "Really! Honest! Also, I forced Ness, Lucas, and Toon to do the dirty work! They are i-innocent!"

"Judging by this event," Master Hand boomed, "I hereby order that any written materials shall be reviewed by us before being published! Now, return to your duties!"

Following Master Hand's orders, all of the visitors cleared out of the foyer. Dedede was about to sneak away with the crowd, only to be caught by Crazy Hand.

"You're having a chat with us." Crazy Hand growled. Dedede sighed miserably and followed the two hands into their office, not before giving the three child brawlers a dirty look.

Lucas, Ness, and Toon a bit startled by Deded's hateful glare, hurried back to Link, Marth, and Roy. "Well, working in the paper was an experience!" Ness remarked.

"I hope we don't start something like this again!" Lucas piped up, glad that everything was finally back to normal.

"Yeah!" Toon agreed with an innocent smile. "Working for Dedede just for a Wii U wasn't worth it!"

"So, I guess all of you learned a lesson?" Link guessed with a wink.

"Yeah!" the three kids answered at the same time.

"Now that Dedede's newspaper has been shut down for good, we need to celebrate!" Roy spoke with a grin. Marth quietly nodded in agreement.

"Let's go to the café!" Lucas suggested.

"Yeah, let's go!" Toon and Ness agreed cheerfully.

The three kids raced out of the Smash Mansion's front door. Smiling at each other, Link, Roy, and Marth hurried after the excited kids. After painfully working for that tyrant Dedede for days, the kids were finally free.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I bombed the ending... again!**

**So, here's the final chapter for the Brawling Times. Judging by some of the reviews, some of the chapters were actually funny. I'm surprised! XD The Runaway Marth Fanfic is up next! I'm planning to upload it either later tonight or tomorrow. **

**Story Questions: **

**Which part of the story is the funniest? **

**Which gossip was the most offensive? **

**How is Dedede going to get punished?**

**Do you think the angry mob was necessary? **


End file.
